How To Cope With Adele's New Album

How To Cope With Adele's New Album

4 simple steps to help you control your excitement

2015 is such an exciting time to be alive. There are those hoverboard things, "Jurassic World
was kind of a big deal, there might be a woman president (again), and Adele is finally coming out with a new album.

You remember Adele, right?

She's the one with the pipes whose last album "21", released in 2011, was on repeat in your mom's car until three months ago. Then she left us to have a baby or whatever.

Well now she's back, and she expects us to just forgive her and welcome her with open arms. She didn't even bother to lie and tell us she was going to the store to get cigarettes or anything, she just dipped out of the music world for nearly half of a decade. Well she's not getting back in my life so easily.

Though I'm sure the rest of you are crapping yourselves in anticipation.

But before you start flipping parked cars and smashing windows out of sheer excitement, run through this quick list on how to deal with Adele's impending album release.

1. Take a series of deep breaths.

That's it, in and out. Inhale. Exhale. Good job. Now inhale again. Now exhale. With every breath think of an Adele song that you enjoy, and how tired you got of "Someone Like You" after it played on the radio thirty times a day, every day, and the fact that it's still one of her most recent releases.

2. Do some light stretching.

Thinking about how we've been deprived of her music probably made you a little upset. That's fine, you're entitled to your emotions. You're special and I love you. Why not use this irritation productively, channelling it into physical activity?

Stretch forwards and backwards, continuing to take deep breaths as you go. Raise your arms above your head. Touch your toes. Think of everything that's happened in your life since the last time she released in album. Four years ago. You might have finished high school, or college. You could've gotten divorced and remarried. A president of the United States could've served a full term. What makes her so special? Four years, Adele? Really? This album better be The-Beatles-plus-the-Second-Coming-of-Jesus good, lady.

3. Make a light snack.

After that gentle stretching, you should feel light and free. Food's always a good idea, so make yourself your favorite snack. Here's a fun recipe you can try:

1. Drive to KFC.

2. Order a bucket of extra crispy chicken. Pretend to be on the phone with your friends and/or loved ones while you order. To make it really convincing, briefly argue about what to order with your pretend friend.

3. Drive to an empty parking lot and eat the whole thing in your car while listening to "Rolling In the Deep" on repeat.

4. Drive home in silence.

5. Make a kale smoothie, then post a picture of it on Instagram so your followers can see how important nutrition is to you. Now pour it down the sink.

While waiting for your snack to finish frying, consider the fact that Adele won an Academy Award for her song "Skyfall", essentially being rewarded for releasing one song in four years. That's like turning in one essay during college and graduating magna cum laude. You owe us all an explanation, Adele.

4. Take a nap.

Follow this excellently preserved mummy's example

Rest does a body good. Turn off your phone and lay down for a serene, rejuvenating nap. Get in your most comfortable position. Surround yourself with warm sheets and soft pillows. Close your eyes and count your blessings. Think of a sunny field of flowers swaying in the gentle breeze. Think of waves gently splashing against the shore. Think of all of the artists that released music while Adele was busy not being busy. Beyoncé's self-titled album didn't take four years, AND it was a complete surprise. If B could give us "Flawless***", "Drunk In Love", and "Partition" after a two year break (which included the birth of her child) and somehow keep it a secret, then Adele's album better move me to tears, or more.

During these last four years, I've grown so much. I'm in college now, I've stopped dancing for tips down by the train tracks, and, to be perfectly honest, I've realized what a full, productive, and above all happy life I'm able to lead, with or without Adele's music. "25" is a welcome surprise, and I look forward to it being overplayed, but I have decided to remain neutral about this whole thing. Follow these helpful hints and you too will be able to replace that white-hot rage (you know, because she abandoned us) with a soothing neutrality that is good for mind, body, and soul.

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.

Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.

Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Poetry On The Odyssey: Chasing Daffodils

My Vision Is Clear


In the day we chase daffodils

cradling their petals oh so delicately

as they fan their beauty in the sunlight

we hold white knuckled hands

ambling through the meadow

care free

but as the sky grows dark

and our vision blurs

that hand grows claws

painful to the touch, we release each other

and take off,

running so swiftly from the bears and the wolves and the vultures

that we forget to open our eyes

and find strength in each other

To combat these demons

with the force of a thousand warriors,

instead of silhouettes dancing in the night

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