Girls do some absolutely crazy stuff when they have a particular interest in a guy. A crush is never just a "crush." It involves skill, strategy, and the ever important stalking. Girls, if you're reading this just laugh and nod along. Guys, if you're reading this...just maybe stop while you're ahead.
Here are a few weird things I do, my friends do, and girls in general do.
1. Obviously, stalk all of his social media. This is an art form. The suggestions are below...
2. Follow him on Twitter.
3. Add him on Facebook.
4. Like his Instagrams.
5. Like his Instagrams from 56 weeks ago.
6. Have your friends follow him first.
7. Look at his favorites on Twitter.
8. Stalk the girls he has mentioned in tweets.
9. Figure out when he broke up with his girlfriend based on his Instagram timeline. (For the record, it was 17 weeks ago.)
10. Tweet similar things to get him to favorite your stuff.
11. Retweet the same accounts in hopes that he'll notice it.
12. Look at his interests on all forms of social media.
13. Stalk the shit out of the girl he took to formal.
14. Stalk the shit out of the girl he took to date party.
15. Stalk the shit out of his cousins ex-girlfriend's best friend from 2nd grade.
16.Analyze any text you may get from him like it's written in braille.
18. Learn everything about everything he likes.
19. Memorize the lyrics to his favorite song.
20. Download the album of an artist he mentioned like once.
21. Watch his favorite movie/tv show so you can talk to him about it.
22. Drink the alcohol he likes (even though it tastes like sewage water).
23. Get jealous of his siblings/family because they got to hang out with him his entire life.
23. Circle the library just to pass by his table.
24. Purposefully show up at places you know he'll be.
25. Figure out what cologne he wears and spray it on your pillows. (Second best to cuddling with the "real thing". )
26. Volunteer to do things you normally wouldn't do just to be in the same vicinity.
27. Hate any girl that breathes in his direction.
28. Claiming them as yours even though they have no idea you have any sort of feelings for them.
29. Refer to them as "bae", "my boyfriend", "my husband", etc.
30. Tell his close friend to talk you up to him.
31. Befriend his sister so you can sleepover at his house.
32. Take his phone and cyber-stalk every girl in his recent messages. Or entire contact book for that matter.
33. Set up a camera in his room so you can keep an eye on him.
34. Find out what his mom and dad do and show up at their work asking if you can take their sons hand in marriage even if you've never met them.
35. Memorize his license plate number.
36. Find out where he works and show up with his favorite sandwich.
37. Figure out his class schedule so you can "bump into him".
38. Pretend like you forgot something after leaving an area he's in just to steal another glance.
39. Change your entire lifestyle to match his. (If they only eat kale and beans, you only eat kale and beans right?)
40. Type your name and his name into the YouTube search box along with "wedding video" so you can really picture the real thing.
41. Create a Pinterest board dedicated to your relationship and future wedding and crop in some pictures of his face into all your favorite pictures of yourself in order to prepare for what will be shown at your wedding reception.
42. Calculate your chance of love with a zodiac love compatibility calculator.
43. See how cute your babies will be by morphing your faces together.
44. Watch him in class.
45. Watch him on campus.
46. Watch him sleep.
47. Watch him shower.
48. Throw rocks at his window and profess your love to him.
49. Text him approximately 94 times a day.
50. Let him know how glad you are to have a crush like him in your life.
