I went to the beach this week for a family vacation, and the longer I stayed there, I started noticing some things — some things you never see outside of the beach or beach towns. These are things that would just be bizarre in any regular city or town. So I started keeping a list because I felt the oddities needed to be shared.

1. Now, I’m not sure of the reason for this one, but this one definitely stood out to me the most. Driving in the car to Myrtle Beach, I counted three pancake houses within about five miles of each other. But no, none of them were IHOP or any chain; they were just family-owned restaurants that only serve breakfast, specifically fluffy cake-syrup receptacles. Why do all these beach goers need a plethora of pancakes? I’m not sure. My brother’s theory was that the pancake is a good hangover cure absorbs alcohol. I think it’s because when you’re on vacation, you let yourself eat whatever you want. And everyone wants pancakes.
2. Barbed wire — there was barbed wire everywhere. But not on fences, on people’s arms. I’m talking about those tribal tattoos that surfer dudes get around their biceps. They’re supposed to look authentic and exotic, but in reality, it’s just a sign that you are not, in fact, from the beach. I doubt anyone that grew up close to a beach actually wears those.
3. And along those same lines, another bizarre fashion trend that people seem to think is suddenly normal at the beach are those colorful hair wraps. You know when a sorority girl goes to Cancun for spring break and she comes back with one dread wrapped in pink twine or beads. No one, and I mean no one, wears that in their everyday life. It’s like a neon sign that says, "I made bad decisions on spring break."
4. This next one probably pissed me off more than I found it amusing. Tourist traps. There are souvenir shops five to every block at the beach. Most of them sell the same little trinkets, snow cones and salt life stickers. But suddenly an everyday item you could get at Walmart for $10 is an expensive buy. I saw lawn chairs — two for $40 the other day. And the most outrageous thing is that people will buy them because it’s the only price they’re being sold at for miles around.
5. This one is probably pretty obvious, but at the beach, the dress code is severely altered. Whereas, at home, if I walk into the supermarket in a bikini and shorts, it will be frowned upon. If I do it at the beach, and I did, the clerk doesn’t even look up. Suddenly swimsuits become acceptable tops. Swim trunks are the equivalent of dress shorts. Flip flops are fancy because the norm is to just not wear shoes.
6. It’s no surprise that things at the beach are more colorful than at home. And that includes the architecture. The beach is the only place you can get away with painting your house pastel purple with blue-green shutters. I expect it and welcome it actually. The street lined with little rainbow houses is the road to paradise.
7. People really lose their creativity at the beach. Business owners don’t feel the need to draw people into their stores at the beach because the sandy shores do that for them. So all originality in naming stores, restaurants and the like, goes out the window. Everything is a combination of the word "sandy," "wave," "coastal" and "hut."
8. This is probably my favorite thing about the beach — the mindset and the attitude. At the beach, you can kind of be whoever you want. A blue-haired grandma walks down the street, no one cares. That man looks like his skin is made of leather, totally normal. That boy is wearing goggles into the gas station, no one looks twice. You want to to mow your lawn in the middle of the night? Cool. No one seems to have a standard of time or behavior.
9. Tan lines, tan lines everywhere.
10. Also no one seems to have a job...