Weddings Are For The Guests, Let's Not Kid Ourselves

Weddings Are For The Guests, Let's Not Kid Ourselves

Recently, I attended a wedding for someone close to me, and it was much different than what I was expecting.


Recently, I attended a wedding for someone close to me, and it was much different than what I was expecting.

Being the younger sibling of someone very popular in high school and college, I have been to numerous weddings. Usually, they're pretty boring, but at least the food is good, the cake is fancy, and the dancing is awkward, but it is all-in-all a decent experience.

I've been to weddings that are on a low budget but also been dazzled by some that cost in the hundreds of thousands. I knew this most recent one would not be over the top, but I was expecting it to still be decent, because weddings are always for the guests, not for the bride and groom to have the time of their lives- they are actually the entertainers. However, that was not how this wedding went.

The ceremony started off with the lovely couple washing each other's feet- hidden from guests because they were sitting behind the preacher and wedding party. I was invited to share this special moment, but could only hear the tears of the bride as she cried the whole time.

The rest of the ceremony was bland but pretty. It was set in the rolling, East Tennessee Mountains with fall leaves scattered around and the sun peaking through clouds. It was after the ceremony that the flaws of planning began to show.

The venue had a room for the reception, but it was not big enough for half the guests, so we stood there for twenty minutes waiting for the ceremony room to be converted to a reception room- the whole time, music like the Wobble, Cha Cha Slide, and Macarena were playing. The wedding party had been introduced and were eating (hidden from guests' views behind a partition) before I was even seated.

After being seated I had to immediately stand back up and wait in line for my flavorless food. The Alfredo sauce was all milk. Before I was even seated, the cake was already being cut. Because of the partition, all the guests had to go huddle around the wedding party's tables to see the stuffing of the groom's face.

I was excited though. The cake was a beautiful red velvet cake. It looked divine, but sadly I will never know how it tastes because that cake was only for the wedding party. They served the guests Kroger sheet cake; in the tiniest slices I have ever seen.

The best part of the wedding is that it was over in two and a half hours.

So, now, to my question- What is the point of weddings? Have you ever heard of a bride and groom enjoying their wedding? I haven't. The point of a wedding is for the bride and groom to share their "happiest day ever" with the guests and make sure the guests have an enjoyable time, right? Or is it for the bride and groom to enjoy everything and the guests treated like they aren't part of the festivities?

I've always been told the bride and groom are supposed to walk around and talk to the guests so they can congratulate them. Weddings are not for the bride and groom to have a good time.

This is the first wedding I've attended where that is not true, so I'm wondering what the actual point of weddings is.

I hope every other wedding I go to is for the guests. Otherwise, I won't be attending and buying an expensive present if I'm not going to have a good time.

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A Thank You Letter to My Fiance

You've outdone yourself in every way, ever.

To the man who got down on one knee just a few days ago,

Thank you. I'm not thanking you for proposing to me. That would be silly. I'm thanking you for so, so much more. Since you've come into my life, you've brought so much goodness, fun and laughter along with you. It goes so much deeper than that though. You've helped me become the best version of me, and that's something I'll never be able to repay. There are so many little things you've done that I just can't go any longer without putting it down in writing. This is an ode to you, the man that took his rough hands and helped mold me into the best version of me.

Thank you for seeing past my façade. I know I was in a rough spot before we started dating. I had come out of a terrible relationship, and I never thought I would be happy again. I put up a wicked wall. I put up walls that were covered in dark lipstick and an attitude that I didn't need a single person other than myself. You saw right through that. You saw someone that was hurting, and desperately needed someone but didn't want to get hurt again. It took you months, but eventually brick by brick, the wall came down.

Thank you for your patience. I'm not an easy person to love sometimes, I can admit that. I'm anxious, and I'm stubborn when I have a point to prove. I can have days that I think the world is ending because work just isn't going right. There are other days that I feel like I'm invincible and nothing can touch me. Thank you for going through all of these ups and downs with me. You don't just go through them with me, but you talk me through it, or as you call it, "talking me off the ledge". It's a weekly occurrence. I can't believe I get to marry someone that not only understands my moods and my anxiousness but who wouldn't want me any other way.

Thank you for bringing out the best version of me. When we met, I was going through a rough spot. I had stopped really caring about doing my makeup or feeling pretty. I know a lot of girls would say that it shouldn't matter, but for me, it was something I so enjoyed. When we met, I was working a really male oriented job. I felt the need to fit that mold and be a tomboy in order to be respected and taken seriously at work. You gave (and still give me) the outlet to be my feminine self whenever I want to be. You don't make me feel guilty for taking forever to do my makeup, and you gladly come into Sephora with me. Even though you're probably annoyed with me by the time we leave because I've smeared half a dozen different shadows on your arm and two lip pigments, you swear to me that you wouldn't have it any other way or with anyone else.

Thank you for opening my eyes to new things. Before I met you, I had never been to a race track, never mind ridden in a race car. The day after you asked me to be your girlfriend, you took me to your first race of the season. I was so naïve to what I should dress like. I wore some cutesy outfit, not knowing that I would be able to get my hands dirty and use some of the skills I had learned elsewhere. I had such an amazing time that day, I kept taking days off so that I could go to races with you. I wouldn't trade that for the world, and I love being 'one of the drivers' girls'. The day you put my name on your car, my heart fluttered the entire day. You've made me feel so special, even in the smallest of ways.

Thank you for going above and beyond for me. You've always gone above and beyond for me. Every month on the seventh without fail, you've shown up at my door with white flowers. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't do something for me, even if it's as simple as wiping down my car or making sure I've had something to eat before class at night. The way you proposed just takes the cake. At 1,882 feet, you asked me to be your wife. You drove all the way up to Rangeley, Maine on a Friday night to get down on one knee. You spent countless hours at the jeweler making sure that you had gotten the ring of my dreams. You wrote me a whole speech, that you immediately forgot when you got down on one knee. You even went as far as to have a bottle of champagne and pink roses waiting in the car after. Above and beyond doesn't even begin to cover it most days.

Thank you, my love. Thank you for all that you do for me, and for us. All of the time you put in and the effort you've put into helping me become the very best version of me, even if it meant sacrificing sleep sometimes. You have truly outdone yourself in every way, and I couldn't ask for a better person to call my future husband.

Cover Image Credit: Alyson Perry

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5 Cheesy Things That I Will Be Doing At MY Wedding Because It’s MY Day

I'm a hopeless romantic so why wouldn't my wedding be cheesy?


Weddings are supposed to be the day where you and your significant other are going all out on how in love you are with each other. I mean it's literally a celebration of you and your soon to be Mr or Mrs, so why is it that people get all worked up over how over the top and gushy wedding are? As a bride who is currently planning her wedding (with the help of my trusty fiance because yeah, I guess he has the right to his opinions on what happens that day too) and a person who is just a serious hopeless romantic when it comes to anything. I plan on being all up in my feelings and making sure that you all, (as in those select few who are invited) get a healthy dosage of cheesy love.

1. Writing and reciting our own vows.

Yes, you better believe that I will be writing my own vows and then after I walk down the aisle to stand next to the love of my life, I will be reciting them. Though I can't guarantee you I'll cry because I am not a cryer when it comes to expressing my emotions. I can guarantee you that my vows will be long, filled with my heartfelt emotions and will either make you shed a tear or totally vom. Tissues and barf bags will be provided.

2. Our love story on display.


If you couldn't already tell, ya girl is a fanatic for romance. So, as someone who loves love and is also in love, you better believe I am going to showcase it. You know that table that is normally loaded with pictures of the bride and groom? Take out the pictures and replace it with my very long and detailed summary of our love story. I promise not to make it into an entire novel but, you'll definitely need a least five minutes to read it.

3. Unity ceremony.


Right as we are exchanging our personal vows and saying our "I'Do's," we'll be having a unity ceremony. Though we haven't decided between a ring exchange, tying the knot or a beading ceramic, whichever one we choose will be lead with super cheesy words to represent the meaning behind our union.

4. Love letter exchange.

Lovers have been exchanging letters ever since man finally created the alphabet. So on my wedding day, of course, right before we both walk down the aisle we'll be writing and exchanging love letters. It's a romantic way to wish each other one last claim of personal love right before you have to showboat it to your guests. It's cheesy and cute and will probably make us run down the aisle, not walk.

5. First and last dance.


You know how couples normally have one song and one dance that is all to themselves? Well, I'm having two. The very first dance of the night, we'll be swaying to the most romantic song ever to be created by man. Then towards the end of the night, we'll be closing things with a final dance to the second most romantic song known to man.

Regardless of what anyone has to say about how cliché or cheesy certain wedding rituals are, remember that the day is about you and your future Mr. or Mrs. Bask in all things you and them, be with each other and show the world that your love is everlasting.

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