I just want to start this by saying I am a hypochondriac. Whenever I feel the slightest pain in my body, I assume the worst, which makes WebMD much more dangerous for me. No matter what I am going through, WebMD makes sure that I panic ten times more than I originally was.

The other night I had really bad lower stomach pains. I had no clue what was wrong with me, so I announced to my roommate I was going on WebMD. She groaned and told me not to start with that. She already knew my routine of overreacting. But I ignored her and typed my symptoms into the app. The results ranged from life-threatening to just PMS. And I, of course, assumed I was dying. But after drinking water, my pain went away, making me realize I just had a bad cramp. Typical.

Last year I was always convincing myself I was having a heart attack in the middle of the night. Turns out I was just having panic attacks. And thinking that I was having a heart attack would lead to an even bigger panic attack. Without fail, I would type my symptoms into WebMD and it would tell me I should call 911. As everything listed for the condition I was in was life threatening except for anxiety, I discovered that I just had anxiety.

But anyway, enough about me. This is about WebMD.

Dear WebMD,

Thank you for always making me fear for my life, for making me overreact and send myself into a panic attack. Thank you for never actually diagnosing me (although I should be smart enough to go to the actual doctor). Not only are you the worst for when I am feeling the worst, but you took away your best feature. I can no longer click on the part of my body that I feel symptoms in and have it help me explain how I feel. That was the most convenient thing about you, and now I can barely find the words to describe what I am feeling, making it even harder to try and diagnosis myself.

You are literally the most problematic thing in my life, yet I do not know how to give you up. You make me frustrated and even more sick than when I started.

I do not know who thought it would be a good idea to give people a tool to try and self-diagnosis, but here we are. I hope that someday we can find a way to live in harmony, but for now I think I am going to have to take my roommate's advice and part ways with you, as I cannot continue to live my life thinking I have the black plague.