I'll speak for everyone when I say that the greeting, "How are you?” should be followed with nothing more than, "Good" and a smile. I don't care if you're dying on the inside or “Like so stressed!” So keep it to a minimum, please. I'm not good with tears, and frankly, I have a class I'm probably late for.

In college no one wants to listen to that piece of advice. In college, apparently, "How are you?" translates directly into, "Tell me how busy and involved you are and let me know how many tests you have and that you can't take it anymore!” I couldn't care less that you're doing school work. I know it’s hard to believe that the general public isn’t interested in your GPA, but it’s true.

“Ugh, it's been such a long day. I've had 477 tests and my teacher put me in a blindfold and told me to find a cure for cancer in 12 minutes!"… Uh, cool? Can't you talk about something that everybody knows and cares about? Like the Kardashians or whatever the deal is with Hillary Clinton's Gmail?

Even if I don’t see you regularly (your loss), I still somehow always know when you’re studying thanks to social media — unless you think you’re better than everyone else and are on a social media “cleanse.” It bores me enough to have to scroll through usual Snapchat stories you think people will find interesting. Do you really think I want to see a picture of your chemistry notes with a time stamp? I could stare at a wall and come up with vivid imagery that's more intriguing than a picture of an overpriced coffee with the caption "pulling an all-nighter" — well of course you are, no one can drink caffeine that late without sacrificing a little sleep.

If you do begin to have a conversation that doesn’t involve complaining about how hard you have been working at your grades or at whatever it is you’re involved in, it isn’t long before someone feels the need, or the requirement for it to be brought up. Since when did being sleep-deprived and anal retentive become the new sexy? It makes those of us who don’t like to spend our time talking about the library or trying to get into professional school, feel like we aren’t good enough for your highness who has been hiding behind their laptop all year. Sorry for wanting to get my beauty rest and for trying not to let my college memories be overwritten by formulas or mundane history facts.

Consider this a public service announcement asking you to please stop trying to impress people with how much studying you do, how little sleep you get, or how "busy" you are, because the truth of the matter is no one asked.

Side note: if all of this busy work and studying does happen to make you a very successful professional when you grow up, just know that I still won't be impressed with you unless you appear on "Ellen" or the cover of "People"… (and trust me, that doesn’t take much intellect or talent, just post a video of your dog dancing or admit to some involvement in a celebrity scandal).

Now if you’ll excuse me I have a very strict 10:30 p.m. bedtime. See what you’re missing out on, bookworms?