“The key problem I encounter working with wounded, depressed, and unhappy people is a lack of connection…starting from a disconnection from themselves and then with others. This is why love often becomes so distorted and destructive. When people experience a disconnection from themselves, they feel it but do not realize the problem.”
We are disconnected from ourselves, and we are disconnected from one another. We turn to our phones the second there is an even remotely awkward silence. We put headphones in as we walk around campus. We are more concerned with the people on our screen than in front of our faces. We have to fill every silence we have with something because we are uncomfortable sitting alone with our thoughts. We are disconnected from ourselves, and we are disconnected from one another. And that is a problem.
"Sometimes you just need to disconnect and enjoy your own company."
Silence is not a bad thing. Silence should not be a scary thing or an uncomfortable thing. I don't mean sit in silence for 5 hours alone. Probably don't do that actually. But I mean if you are by yourself, it is okay, and even necessary to be silent at times.
The world is often loud. We are at work, school, the store, wherever, and we sometimes don't take a moment of silence, a moment just to ourselves. So when you find yourself in the car, waiting for an appointment, or the minutes before you go to sleep...don't fill those with pointless things like Facebook and Twitter.
Allow yourself to have those moments to yourself. Reflect on your day. Reflect on your goals. Reflect on how far you have come. Silence is not a bad thing. Our thoughts are not a bad thing. Once we have the mindset that we cannot be alone with our thoughts and silence is uncomfortable, we have already begun to lose connection from ourselves.
Reconnecting with ourselves is crucial but we also must make connections with the people around us. Reach out to that friend you have been meaning to get dinner with. Call that person that you know has been going through a lot. Make the people around you feel like you actually want to be connected with them. Make the people around you feel loved. Reconnect. And I don't mean send a Snapchat that says "miss you!", I mean really, actually connect.
Connect with strangers, too. Yes, strangers. Talk to the person next to you. Talk. To. Them. If you get to class early, talk to the person next to you. Talk to the person next to you on the bus. Don't get on Facebook the second there is a pause in a conversation. Smile at the person you pass by on the street. Don't avoid eye contact with someone because you don't want to say hello. Don't ignore people.
We are often so incredibly disconnected with ourselves and one another. We are uncomfortable with silence. We are more comfortable making conversation with a keypad at our fingertips rather than verbally expressing ourselves to the person right next to us.
Stop fearing silence. Stop fearing conversation. Stop fearing your own thoughts.
Stop fearing and start reconnecting.
