If you've been keeping up with the current events, you may be wondering whether World War III is right around the corner. With the recent news cycle reading like a "Factors Leading To..." section in a history textbook, there's plenty of reasons to be nervous about the future under our current administration.
Even if you have your reservations about a possible impending global conflict, it's always a good idea to be prepared for anything. That's why I've taken to writing this handy list of ideas on how to get ready for WWIII, and the aftermath that may come of it. Enjoy!
1. Get out of the draft.
Draft dodging is practically an American tradition when it comes to fighting wars nobody's all too jazzed about, a tradition that even our current President took part in when he was called on to fight in Vietnam. My advice is to get creative with it. Try converting to Zen Buddhism and becoming a conscientious objector. Maybe get a shady doctor to diagnose you with some funky medical condition like bone spurs. My roommate is thinking of shooting himself in the foot, following in the (limping) footsteps of his grandpa when he was avoiding the draft.
2. Move to Canada.
America might be in the tiny clutches of an angry Annoying Orange impersonator, but our friendly northern neighbor sure isn't! They're all too happy to welcome you across their southern border, unlike some countries I won't name. The downside is that you really have to like cold weather. But, with global warming going the way it is, even that might only be a temporary problem.
3. Build a doomsday bunker.
Do you have a decent-sized backyard, a shipping container, and some excavating equipment lying around? Well, have I got the project for you. With your own bunker, you'll be plenty prepared if this whole WWIII thing doesn't turn out well. Get some nice decor and it'll be a perfectly quiet, cozy space to wait out an apocalypse. Just make sure you store enough food to last until the nuclear fallout stops being an issue.
4. Assemble your loyal squad.
Whether it's getting through boot camp after you failed to dodge the draft, or surviving the post-war wasteland, it always pays off to have a group of buddies who've got your back. Bonus points if your friends have helpful traits like CPR training, cooking skills, or general street-smarts. Also make sure you know who the weakest link is, because they'll be the first to go. If you don't know who it is, it's probably you.
5. Stockpile silver spray paint.
Perfect for exciting road trips on the Fury Road.
