7 Ways To Be The Best Friend You've Ever Been

7 Ways To Be The Best Friend You've Ever Been

Real deal friends should always be treasured.

As I had conversations with friends over the holidays and reconnected with people who I don't see every day, I began thinking more and more about what it means to be a good friend. Most of my friends and myself are in our mid-twenties and just on the brink of discovering what it means to truly enter adulthood. Though being in your twenties is exciting, it comes with quite a bit of uncertainty.

Though I am in the midst of my twenties, I believe you experience the lowest lows and highest highs in your relationships. In those times, it is important to cling to a solid community. Your friends become your rocks. I am by no means a perfect friend and I fall short of the friend I would like to be over and over again, but I think there are some ways in which we can simply love each other better.

1. Take the time to listen and understand your friend's perspectives.

Grey's Anatomy

You may level with your friends on a lot of beliefs, ideas, and values. That's great. Even if you don't, that can be beneficial too. I think it's important to constantly evaluate what you believe and why you believe it. Having conversations with friends that validate and challenge those ideas can be so rewarding. I find the best conversations I have with friends are the ones in which we are just trying to understand the world around us and life.

2. Take a genuine interest in your friends' dreams.

One Tree Hill

People have goals and things they want to achieve. Those goals and ambitions can be private sometimes, so when they're revealed its important as a friend to validate those dreams. It's also important to give honest feedback when friends seek advice. Surround yourself with friends that have your best interests at heart.

3. Learn your love language. More importantly - learn your friends' love languages.

Parks and Recreation

How do you best show love? Is it through quality time? Is it through providing acts of service or words of affirmation? How do your friends receive love best? Understanding what makes your friends feel loved is priceless. Keeping these things in mind will enable you to love your friends better and will deepen your relationships. Not sure what the love languages are? Check out "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" by Gary Chapman. While I believe the intent is meant for more romantic relationships, but these ideas can still translate to friendships.

4. Be intentional about getting to know who your friends are and what matters to them.


Knowing and remembering small details about your friends - like what their favorite book is - is the key to really understanding who they are.

5. Be open and honest with your friends.

The Office

Being your authentic self is the only way to be. There's no sense in being friends when you can't really be yourself.

6. Make plans together.


Basically, spend time together. Making future plans, from a small brunch to a major international trip shows that you find the relationship willing to invest in.

7. Acknowledge what your friends do for you.

Cory and Shawn

Mostly, people just want to know that they are known. They want to know that what they do is important.

Friendships bring so much joy in life. They need nurture and care as much as any other important relationship. Without your friends, where would you be?

Cover Image Credit: Sam Manns

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.

Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Shockingly, There Is Strength In Being Weak

Abandon the idea that you do not deserve to be taken care of. You do!


The one challenge in having a brave face, is others never considering there are moments you may not be. It is a beautiful yet complicated gift to be able to provide comfort to others. To be the person your friends and family turns to in times of crisis. Just remember that those who offer help, may need help sometimes too.

Lately, I have been struggling. Having flares of anxiety and repetition of old behaviors, that I am not so proud of. I am so kind to others facing struggle, but I have yet to understand the importance of offering myself the same respect.

Some may suggest therapy, seeking out health professionals. For many that may work. And if that is a tool that works for you, power to you! If you feel comfortable with the process pursue it! For myself, I am not. And I will tell you why.

I have yet to swallow my pride. To understand that the strong fail too. Oh how I despise failing. And I think fear of failure comes from my own personal expectations, to hold it "together". Because if I fall, who will those closest to me lean on? I have strength, therefore if I fall, we all do.

That may sound like an idiotic sentence, and while forming the words I recognize how false a statement it is. However, this is a deep rooted issue for many individuals. And for me this is something I struggle with. Allowing for the world to see my weakness.

One of my best friends, who has recently opened my eyes said to me, " To have the courage to ask for help is not you showing weakness, but strength." It takes a great deal of strength to open up. I find myself suppressing my emotions. Meanwhile, I write weekly about confronting your past. Yet I struggle in the practice I preach.

That is not weakness, yet it is a glimpse of reality. I am thankful for my friend, who noticed a shift within me, to speak up and make sure that I recognize that I am falling. Sometimes you cannot only rely on yourself, and you need to admit that you need help.

My greatest joy is helping others but again I cannot find the generosity in my heart to offer it to myself. I was wrestling with the "why". Why I cannot allow for others to worry about me, why I simply do not want other people to worry about me. It is because that is my job. Then I realized, being a brave individual goes hand in hand with wanting control.

I struggle with allowing for myself to be a mess. To admit when I have lost control of who I am. The issue with a brave face? You rarely let others see you cave. So those around you assume you are stedfast, strong, in control, without a shadow of a doubt ; okay.

I understand not each individual is intuitive. That people miss the signs of when others emotional well beings are compromised. I am grateful for my best friend and her intuitive mind and heart. Recognizing that I have not been completely myself as of late, just an extension.

For those of you , who feel you lack the skill. Those who are not capable of reading between the lines, noticing lack of bravery, please I advise you to check up on the ones who you are usually so sure that are "okay". A simple, "how are you", goes a very long way.

I know I was hoping all day that someone would recognize I was not so myself and ask the question. Thankfully, my best friend did. It is nice to know someone sees you. To understand that you're human, and to remind you that you're human. The brave are allowed to fall.

I note that this also means, the brave need to allow for transparency. Because when you allow for others to see your struggle, it is easier for them to then offer a helping hand. Break your silence, even if it proves that you are not always brave.

Each individual has strengths and weaknesses. My weakness? Being weak. Allowing for myself to strip off the mask of " I am okay", and revealing the " I am not okay".

Again, to be brave is in fact a complicated gift. Being emotionally strong for others, does not mean you do not deserve to also be taken care of. To be offered the same respect of healing and love. Leave behind the idea that those managing others issues, means they can manage their own. Even the bravest of walls can come falling down.

It does not take long to ask a three worded question; " How are you?" I hope those are brave enough to answer honestly.

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