As I was messing around with the iMessage option on my laptop a few nights ago, trying to finally get it to work after years of it not working, it finally hit me: that the only thing I had to do was reset the password. Now, this isn't a listicle about the trials and tribulations of the failed attempts on getting Mac products to work but the realization that once I finally got iMessage to work, I was hit with the handful of texts I sent and texts I received from the last time I got iMessage to work on my laptop. As I was scrolling through the back and forth of conversations that took place a few years ago, I couldn't help but cringe throughout it all. I found myself cringing at the way I used to speak, used to interact with those around me, used to have the most distorted view of what was right and wrong and the key word in all these realizations was "used to ". Having said this all, this listicle is about the ways in which I believe I've changed, and for the better.

1. Passive aggression is soooo 2015.

I'm unclear on whether or not it was trendy to be passive-aggressive on almost all aspects of one's life back in the day but I was for sure following this trend when it was in fashion. Looking back on my reactions to the more trivial matters of life, I want to kick myself. Fighting about not returning texts in a "more timely fashion", fallen plans, "tone in a text" and other things that in the present day, I honestly could not give less of a sh*t about.

2. I could've done literally anything I ever wanted to do...

without any kind of passive-aggression, swaying or meddling. I guess back then, I never really understood this complex yet simple concept without feeling guilty of anything. If I didn't want to go to dinner, I didn't have to. If I didn't want to see someone I didn't want to see, I didn't have to. If I didn't want to be friends with someone, I didn't have to be. The key statement being, " I didn't have to ". It took almost three years to figure this out but I can do a lot of what I want to do without having to feel guilty.

3. I have to say what's on my mind.

Looking through these childish and embarrassing texts of mine, one thing kept repeating over and over in my mind: why did I sugarcoat everything I ever said for the sake of whoever I was talking to at the time? It's one thing to be kind and giving and warm but it's another to blatantly shove your own feelings to the side for the sake of someone else's and it's safe to say that this isn't the case anymore.

4. Sometimes it's best to just shut up and listen.

There were times in the past where I'd be one of the first to jump in to give my two cents but these days, it's almost impossible to even have the energy to say anything and there are two reasons why: people will inevitably do whatever they want to do in the end and if someone wants to tell you half the truth or the whole truth, they will. There's no sense in giving a situation your breath and energy if, in the end, it would've been for nothing at all.

5. We are always growing.

I was mid-growth when I was last texting from my laptop and I'm still growing three years later.