These Rough Drafts Of "The Waste Land" Are Off The Chain

I. My Poem is Truly Modernist (Footnotes) feat. only Thomas Dekker

What dost thou feed on?

Broken sleep[1]

His way with winged feet he fled from death whilst the pursuing hounds[2]

Who dies when he may live, he doubly dies[3]

These labors of my pen[4]

Such beauty[5]

The pearl of beauty[6]

T[7] S[8] Eli[9]ot[10]

Mihi plaudo[11]

Come in, my Mesopotamians, cheerily[12]

II. The Roaring Twenties

So I said to Lil, you ought to get your teeth fixed

And who do you think you are getting an abortion

And all, I says, and she says

It’s the Roaring Twenties now

I had about 10 abortions last week

Because that is what we do

It is the Roaring Twenties

III. Hieronimo Is Really Mad

I have seen the dead in living stream

A slow Orphead lurch over the Bridge

Like St. Denis, Thomas Dekker carries his head on a plate

He says he is suing me for copyright infringement

IV. The Fire Sermon

If you think the Waste Land is hard to understand

And inaccessible

Due to its scattershot allusions

Just think

Of what

I could have written

If I’d had

The Internet

Not so peachy is it

(Cats would be like 700 pages long)

V. What Ezra Pound Said


The silence




The knowing


The not knowing


The words


The no words

Hello this is Ezra Pound

Yes Ezra hello this is me

Please stop drawing dicks in the

Margins of the

Waste Land

I do not appreciate it

Cordially yours


TS this is a phone call you don’t need to sig-


It’s my poem, not yours

You just made cuts

Ta ta


TS please stop signing your-

Vivienne Mother of God I’m ever so sorry Ezra

Please disregard everything I’ve said


I swear to God Vivienne

If you keep drawing dicks in

The margins of this poem

I will send you straight to the

Sanitarium for the Forgotten Wives

Of Groundbreaking Modernist Poets


I go


I go



I am never coming back

I am British now

Fuck you, America

You’re not my real Dad

[1] The Spanish Soldier

[2] Shoemaker’s Holiday

[3] Blurt, Master Constable

[4] Troia-Nova Triumphans

[5] Blurt

[6] The Honest Whore

[7] The Magnificent Entertainment

[8] The Sun’s Darling

[9] The Witch of Edmonton

[10] The Roaring Girl

[11] Satiro-mastix

[12] Shoemaker’s Holiday

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