I remember the sinking feeling I had watching my parents drive away from my freshman dorm building on August 20th, 2017. As an 18-year-old newly-turned college kid, I had a lot of knowledge.

I was smart, well-rounded, and “prepared” - or so my college admissions advisors had assured me. I made the 200-mile drive to College Station with utter confidence in my abilities to take college by storm, and walk away from my first semester with a new body of experiences and a 4.0 GPA tucked neatly in my back pocket.

I was very wrong.

Four quick months and a few shocking wake-up-calls later, I laugh at syllabus-week me. I was not prepared for college, but I am so thankful that I wasn’t. In the shock, the challenging climate, the utter newness of it all - in that place is where I have discovered growth.

My professors have urged me to channel my knowledge into understanding, and my understanding to application. The atmosphere of my top-tier university has destroyed my capability to compartmentalize my education, and has instead made my education a filter through which I see the rest of the world in a clearer and more honest perspective.

The essence of what has been valuable to me in this educational environment cannot be boiled down to any textbook or lecture hall. I learned stuff a lot more practical than what any professor can teach (although I had some pretty awesome professors). If I had to boil my semester down into a sentence, it would be this:

I discovered the beauty in not being ready.

The chorus of one of my favorite songs goes like this :

"We'll never be ready if we keep waiting for the perfect time to come

Never be steady...we'll never be ready."

See, I was well equipped for college. I received a high quality high school education, I had worked part time jobs, I had sought advice from mentors. I had held leadership positions and participated in service projects, as many of you have as well. All things considered, I had my life pretty well together. Freshman year, however, still hit me in the face like a ton of bricks, leaving me lucky if I put my shoes on the correct feet (yes, this is a verified side effect of freshman year). Why?

Because I'm human. We're all human, and change is hard. Thankfully, we can adapt, and I certainly have adapted, but it takes time. Some people experience drastic changes as kids, and have already learned this lesson - but for the rest of us, college is a wake up call that we can either be grateful for or resent.

The crux of the lesson is this : when opportunity comes my way in the future, my first question isn't going to be "Am I ready? Am I prepared? Are all my ducks in a row wearing color-coordinated Sunday clothes?"

Instead, I'm going to ask myself "Can I grow here?" And I hope that my answer will be yes, and I hope I will take the plunge.

And to all the highschool seniors out there anticipating college coming up in a few short months, this is my advice to you : work hard, but don't stress about college. It'll come when it comes, and you aren't ever going to be perfectly ready for it. That's okay. Instead of trying to check off a million last minute boxes, stop and smell the roses. Enjoy time with family and friends. You'll really, really miss it.

So, yes Mom - I promise I paid attention in college algebra and microeconomics. But the stories I'm bringing home are a lot cooler than supply and demand curves. I think you'll enjoy them...and you might even have the opportunity to smile and say "I told you so."