"I wasn't enough today."

Have those words ever crossed your mind? Have you ever been so burdened down with your own inadequacy that you don't feel good enough for anything or anyone? I do. I feel inadequate when I wake up a little late for work because I am exhausted from staying up doing homework the night before and have a rushed start to my day. I feel it when I am a little late to work because I wouldn't allow myself to leave the house without at least trying to look like I have it all together. It weighs on me when I forgot something small on my to-do list at work or when I forget to text a friend on their birthday. It comes when someone in my family texts me to tell me they're upset that I haven't been to see them in awhile and when I realize that even though I am working as much as I can possibly fit into a day, I won't be able to cover all my bills. I feel it when I come home and see all there is to clean or when I have friends texting me to come hangout but my eyes won't stay open.

I feel drowned by all the things I am seemingly not enough for. When all that I can do does not cover all that needs to be done, when everything I am does not seem to fill the silhouettes people outline for who I should be, and when my hands and feet do not complete all the tasks on my to do list I feel not enough. As I lay my head down on my pillow going, through all the things I did not do and the people I disappointed, I hear myself say "I wasn't enough today."

Those thoughts are crippling. The enemy starts to win, and I start to retreat into the parts of my mind that doubt myself and wonder what my purpose is. I had so much to do. My family and my friends needed me to do things. I have jobs I need to attend to. "I wasn't enough today."

Then I hear His still, small voice whisper to my heart, "I was."

2 Corinthians 3:5 says "Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God."

When I begin to feel burdened down and hopeless it is usually then that I remember that I can't do it all. I am one, flawed, person. I am not perfect. I cannot do everything and be everywhere. I hear Him tell me "I have always been enough for you."

I also remember that my first calling is to honor God and to use my life to bring glory to His Kingdom. So right there, I begin to lose some of that weight. When I look at my to-do list, or as I like to call it, my "to-worry" list, I can go ahead and knock off the things that are not a priority in bringing glory to God's kingdom. I refocus my priorities on what He needs me to do.

If I am honoring God and doing everything I can to love others, then that is all I can do. I won't always make everyone happy; there will be friends and family who will not be able to let their love for me fill the gaps that I cannot fill myself. There will be times that I will let people down and will fail as a daughter, an employee, a sibling, a granddaughter, and a friend. But oh, how comforting it is that my God is always enough for me and He will never fail. How comforting to know that when I fail as a person, when my heart and my body are not enough for the world, the God who created me is still enough.

So let that be your comfort today and every day that you feel as though you are not enough. You cannot do everything and be everywhere. You will not always be the perfect friend, daughter/son, employee, etc. You will not always get everything on your list done. There will be days that you fall to your knees in despair at all that you could not accomplish, but God will be there to meet you every time with everything that you need to not only survive, but to thrive. In Jeremiah we read that God not only loves us but He has a plan for us to live our lives to absolute completion (Jeremiah 29:11). So when you feel as though you cannot possibly ever be enough to live up to all the roles you are cast in, remember that God has a plan for you. As long as you keep your focus on Him you can rest in the fact that you will always be enough for that plan.