To all my fellow college students, I know for a fact I am not the only one that falls into the progression of the semester, and in which attitude and attire advertises perfectly. First day of class, I walk in with my Lilly Pulitzer planner in one hand and coffee in the other. All my syllabuses organized and already signed before I leave class, and I have all my major dates written on my calendar in black ink.

Organization gives me a secure feeling, and like I’ve got it together (whether I really do or not) I at least feel that way. The dreaded midterms approach and you know it isn’t the end of the world and you take comfort in that, but then finals seem to quickly bounce on us. We are scrambling to cram material, stay awake through the entire test, and experiencing true happiness when we find a scantron tucked somewhere and not having to go back to the book store for another pack. We are planning our schedule for the next semester without even having finished the one we are in. Our cute outfits, perfectly creamed coffee and contoured makeup turns to gym shorts and a big tshirt, coffee from the closest convenient store because we aren’t only scrambling for the lack of time but for quarters in our cup holder, and makeup that is probably from the night before. We are juggling a job yet trying to maintain good grades, and at least have some form of social life. We are at the phase in life where everything has to be done at the same time, and our demands seem relentless and endless in count.

My typical day during my first year was go to class, study continuously, work two jobs, coach a soccer team, workout, do my devotion, study late into the night/early morning…oh and eat and sleep of course. My days ran together like water, my lack of sleep was toiling on me mentally, emotionally and physically, and my sanity was at stake. I had a hard realization at the end of my first year of college, I am not invincible and I cannot do a week worth of obligations in 24 hours. I always caught myself planning for tomorrow, next week or even five years down the road. If you know me, you know I am constantly having to be somewhere or do something, and I go head strong into whatever I am involved in. I refuse to be seen as lazy or lacking thereof. I would sit and write to-do list in my planner at night for the following day, and stress over how in the world my day was going to fit all the contents I filled it with.

My personal moments, family occasions and times with God were becoming rushed and very much out of order on my priority list. When I did get a resting moment I wondered what I could be getting done or accomplishing instead of just sitting taking a break. I was tired, worn down and close to throwing in the towel. I ordered a book from Proverbs 31 Miniseries (which I recommend to all women reading this article) titled “5 Habits of the Woman Who Doesn’t Quit”, and I set out to read it over Christmas break, but I quit after chapter 1. Did I seriously order a book on habits of not giving up but yet gave it up for the lack of time to sit and read it? I was and still am extremely hard on myself because I knew there was no room or time for mistakes and failures, and I began setting levels of accomplishment for myself that were very unrealistic.

I used this busy life style to subside the internal battle I was fighting, and I used it to allow myself to feel needed, accepted and complete in a way. Desperate situations will either lead us to a greater dependence on God, or they can cause us to detour away from God. We tend to down play on the outside what is really going on inside because as women we are wired to put everyone first, make sure needs of others are met and be the glue in any situation. A virtuous woman should do those things, but know her limits. It is perfectly okay to say no, too much of a good thing is a bad thing. I found my limits but I just didn’t acknowledge them, and I was stretching myself way too thin. I worried in abundance on getting assignments done, work obligations fulfilled, and my whole life figured out career wise. I learned the hard way that my ways are not higher than the author of my eternity, potter of my future and keep of all my hopes and dreams.

I became humbled when I found more completion in God’s presence than I ever did in the midst of being pulled in a million directions and needed in many areas. Anytime we place something above Christ it is an idol, and unfortunately my life was cluttered with them and when I prayed for God to show Himself in my life I was unaware that my idols were preventing Him from fitting in the dimensions of my life, showing His full potential and even were even blocking His true will for me. At the point of this realization I accepted the assignment of refinement. I began making strict allotments of time for God’s presence, myself and those I love, and slowly I saw a change in my joy, peace and spiritual restoration. I restarted the book previously mentioned and I have found that it’s not just for those who are easy to give up, but for those who need a pep talk to keep going. I realized though in the midst of my world wind that it is better the be the kind of woman who doesn’t spend her days worrying about the future because she knows no matter what does or doesn’t happen this week, next semester or even the following year, God will still fulfill His purpose for her.

It’s scary to know that your future will more than likely not follow you own agenda, you may not have a perfectly creamed coffee and put together kind of day, and things will happen that are totally unexpected. It’s hard to grasp that we are not promised even the next moment, so will you chose to stress about something you are not even guaranteed or take full advantage of this moment right now? I like control, stability and organization and when following the will of God those attributes seem to be far from what you may experience. We have no control for many are the plans in the mind, but it’s the purpose of the Lord that will prevail. We may not always feel stable and secure where we are, but He truly is the rock in which we stand. Instead of being the White Rabbit racing against time, rushing life away and not even recognizing small blessings around.

Have unscheduled plans and memories, take in every second with friends and family, and treasure intimate instances with the God that holds all of eternity in the lines in His palms. He hasn’t forgotten about your dream, He sees the great amounts of effort to reach set goals, He loves a motivated child of His, but don’t let the business of everyday life kill the opportunity for God to show His conformation in all you are doing.