"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, Love is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." ~ 1Corinthians 13: 4-8

You’ve probably heard/read this bible passage many times. It’s a very popular reading at weddings, and it’s a sweet thing to put on a canvas. But do people actually pay attention to what it says? You think that they would if it’s so popular, but do they? Because it seems to me that people contradict this passage a lot in this modern society.

I feel that a lot of people have a warped idea of what love is. Now I am not an expert, but I feel I have learned form a lot of other people’s relationships- the good and the bad.

Let’s start with my interpretation of the first verse: “Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, love is not pompous, it is not inflated”. AKA: When you love someone, you practice patience with them. You try your best to remain calm with them and find peace in their voice. When you love someone you are kind to each other. So when a boyfriend yells at you and calls you dumb and makes fun of the things you say and do, he is not kind…therefore, he does not love you. “You know that guy friend you have? Yeah you can’t hangout with him anymore” If your boyfriend tells you that he doesn’t like you hanging with guy friends, he doesn’t trust you. He is jealous and insecure in what you have with him. If he is jealous of them, then he is not secure in himself either. He doesn’t need to be in a relationship; he needs to work on himself. When you love someone, you also are not jeaous of what he other has. You compliment each other and what makes one of you happy, makes the other happy. When you love someone, you do not compare your accomplishments. You do not brag about what you have done and put them down about what they have done. You build each other up.

The next verse: “it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury”.AKA: when you love someone, you don’t shame him or her for his or her mistakes or failed attempts. You show them respect for trying and help lift them up. You embrace their failures and help turn them into success. Simple: you are not rude. When you love someone, instead of thinking, “what can this person do for me”, you should think, “what can I do for them to show them how much I really love them”. So if your significant other wants to go further than you want to go and they say, “Well, if you love me, you’ll do this with me” FALSE! THAT IS THE BIGGEST LOAD OF BALONEY I HAVE EVER HEARD. If they love you then they will not pressure you by any means to do something you don’t want to do. And that’s that. No questions or exceptions. When you love someone, you control your temper. This goes along with patience. If the person you love cannot take a joke or a mistake without getting extremely angry, then you probably shouldn’t have them in your life. When you love someone, you shouldn’t remind them of their mistakes every chance you get. When you get in a fight and the person you love brings something up from years ago that is probably not relevant to the situation at all but they use it as an example of another time you messed up. That is not what love looks like. Love does not constantly bring up resolved situations. You should not sulk in the mistakes both of you have made.

The next verse: “it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all tings, hopes all things, endures all things”. AKA: you should be honest with the people you love. No one should take pleasure in lying about a situation and getting away with it. They should feel better about being honest with that person and facing whatever the consequences are. For example, if your significant other is cheating, they are obviously lying when they say you’re the only one for them. They should obviously not feel better about that. First of all, they shouldn’t be cheating and second of all, they shouldn’t take pleasure in getting away with it/lying about their relationship. They should feel better about being honest about cheating and facing the consequence, which in this case should obviously be a breakup. When you love someone, you protect them. Not just physically, but you protect their heart. You do everything you can to keep them from getting hurt and one of the best ways to do that is to be kind to them and to follow all of the other actions listed in the passage. You trust the one you love. For example, when a boyfriend says, “it’s not you I don’t trust, it’s your guy friend”, they are basically saying that they do not trust you to stop the situation if your guy friend was to go too far. They also do not trust your judgment in character. When you love someone, you don’t give up. You always try. You never lose faith in your love and you never give up on each other. Love lasts through any situation.

Lastly: “Love never fails.” AKA: Well, how much clearer can it get!?

The interesting thing about this passage is that if you analyze it closely, you realize that Love is an action. The passage continuously talks about actions you do for one other. That is Love. That’s what the passage is saying. A lot of people have a warped idea of what Love is. A lot of people think love is this spark. Love is this feeling/emotion you get when you are with the person you are suppose to marry, or with your best friend, or family. But no. Love isn’t how the movies tend to portray it. When you lose that spark with your spouse or significant other, you didn’t fall out of love with them. When you lose that spark that is when you have to show them even more love. You aren’t always going to be incredibly fond of each other, but that is when you need to love them even more. That is when you show them even more kindness, patience, trust, hope, faith, and persistence. In reality, when that spark is gone, that is when you are in a deeper level of your relationship. You are past the honeymoon phase and the real Love sets in. When relationships do not work out, it is usually because one or both of the people in the relationship ceased to do the one action that has so many different forms: Love. They stopped loving. Love at first sight doesn’t exist. Sure, there can be an initial attraction or connection, but it isn’t love. Until you are ready to do all the actions listed in this bible passage, only then are you acting out Love. And once again we look to the one who has all the answers, who is the greatest author of all creation, for the definition of the most beautiful action: God.