I'm writing this for whoever you are, and wherever you may be..(Oxford, UCLA or Columbia Law), I hope you’re ready to be dealing with me all day every day! I’m hoping you were warned about how crazy (not in psycho terms) I can be, but I think you already knew this prior to anything leading to this new relationship but it can only get more fun (I guess) from here? Either way I do applaud you for sticking with me for so long. So here I am, warning you about what’s to come and apologizing for the things I might do.
First of all, I’m really sorry that I’m a sarcastic bitch more than half of the time. I’m sorry for always talking and telling you pointless stories that have no meaning at all, other than the fact that I just like to share them. I’m sorry for all the complaining I do about work, school, my friends, etc., etc. There will be a lot of complaining and yes, I know it is a bad habit and yes I’ve been trying to stop it since I was around 16. I am warning you that I look like a train wreck in the morning, especially when I wear my retainers to bed and I hope you get used to it. You can always find me drinking coffee and I’ll probably ask you to get me some at random times throughout the day. I hope you learn my order because it’s one of the easier ones.
I will cry over those stupid, romantic movies and I hope you laugh at me for it. I have a thing for driving for hours without any random destination, so I can only pray that you’ll be okay with that. I would rather have a burger than eat a salad any day and I’m sorry for the way I eat. I don’t breathe in between bites.. bad habit, I know. I’m sorry for the person I become when I’m super hungry and I’m extremely sorry for the person I am when it’s my time of the month. My friends will tell you that it’s one of the worst weeks to deal with me and I promise you, they are not lying.
I binge watch HGTV and I yell at the TV when they choose the wrong house on House Hunters. I will always love my cat more than anyone so don’t get mad when I choose him over you, because I will. I’m sorry for the person I become when I drink vodka because for some reason I always start crying. Also, sorry for the person I am when I drink wine, but I swear it’s easier to handle than me on vodka. I love being alone, so don’t get offended when I don’t want to hang out with you. I steal all the sheets when I sleep and I will probably cuddle with my teddy bear more than you. My dad and brother will interrogate you and ask you what your plans are in life and it will be scary and I’m sorry. My mom will love you and treat you as one of her own, she does it with everyone.
My friends will scare you at first, but that's only because they want what’s best for me. I’m easy going when it comes to almost everything and you don’t need to do anything extreme in order to impress me. Seriously, I will be happy if you buy me a new air freshener for my car, that’s how easy going i am. Lastly, I have a bad obsession with One Direction and their music will play more than you’ll be ready for. No, I’m not sorry for that.
So to you, I hope you read this in a couple months or years and I hope you laugh and tell me that you should’ve read this before we started dating, but then again it probably would’ve made you run for the hills.
Sincerely,
Me
