I Love You

There’s something about hearing the words, “I love you” that makes your head spin in a good way. Especially when it comes from the right person. For me, it is the currently the reason why I keep going.

I heard it from the person who maybe I thought I wouldn’t hear it for a long time if ever. I was instantly reassured of how someone cared about me even in my worst moment.

I remember it clearly. I was playing my ukulele and I was frustrated with life. Frustrated is an understatement but you get my point. I posted some silly status on my Facebook about not needing a boyfriend when I have my instrument. Someone (whose identity is protected) commented on it and told me how I needed a boyfriend to get married. Funny joke, right?

I laughed and smiled because it was something he would say. I sat and pondered like I always do and decided hey why not text him about it. Ha best decision I have made in awhile. I asked him if he thought he was funny. I was nervous for some reason because in reality I was waiting for some smart reply but instead I got a nice confession. He told me that he kind of thought he was funny and he was wondering if people knew that he loved me. I smiled and giggled like I was five years old for a good ten minutes actually for most of the night.

I had been talking to this guy for a couple of months and it was going in the right decision. I like him a lot which hopefully he knows before he reads this but it’s cool. I really enjoyed at the fact that he opened up to me and told me that he loved me.

It came at a time where I was struggling to feel love from anyone. No, I didn’t tell him I loved him back and yes that probably hurt him just a little bit.

I want to love him though and I hope he knows that. I have a great feeling that someday I will. It’s the kind of crush where you find yourself smiling like an idiot every time they text you and you hang on to every word they say. I am very much hanging on the fact that he told me he loved me. Especially how I haven’t been feeling like it. Even though in reality, it’s not really a crush, it is hopefully going to turn into a relationship. That is my hope at least.

It’s a motivation for me to keep going. Even when I have my worst days, I know that there is someone who loves and cares about me. It’s beautiful and wonderful.

I don’t want people to think that I’m alive and breathing because a guy told me he loves me. No. I realized that being told that you are loved by someone special to you can change your entire perspective on things.

For me, it helped me keep fighting this awful battle with my mental health that I someday hope to have better control of.

I am actually super grateful for this guy in my life whether he knows it or not. He’s a pretty special guy and I think I am going to keep him around for awhile.

The lesson is never hide your true feelings for someone because you never know how much of an impact it can make on them. It could totally change their day or week or whatever.