My favorite thing in the world, more than pizza, more than a Harry Potter marathon, is making strides toward my goal of being a strong, smart and successful woman. I’ve grown up dreaming of a life with a beautiful house, nice cars and lavish vacations. Who doesn’t want that?
The thing that differentiated my dream from all my other girl friends, was they couldn’t wait to start a family with their soulmate and all the things I previously listed, while my dream didn’t involve anyone else. I didn’t dream of living life alone but I also knew that if I had to, I would be just fine. I wanted to make that materialistic dream happen because I was strong, smart and successful. And not because someone else (a man) was all those things and gave me what I wished for, as nice as that is for someone to do. The moment I realized that most girls wanted what I did, just not way I wanted to go about getting it, made me wonder why I thought the way I did. And for that, I credit my mother.
No, she didn’t raise me, beating the “you don’t need a man” mentality into my head. She didn’t really beat anything into my head. (Odd way to phrase it, I know) My mom is the kind of parent that impacted my character through example, rather than long mother-daughter conversations and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.
My mother is the first woman of six generations who opted for college instead of motherhood. My great grandma and grandma made different choices, one’s they don’t regret, but choices nonetheless. Those two, are the sweetest women I know and admire that they have always put family first. I am extremely jealous of their ability to quilt and sew beautiful masterpieces and am in constant awe of their perfected sugar cookie. My mom, while still being able to fix the buttons that fall off my shirt, crochet a beautiful afghan (even though it takes a while) and does in fact, make a mean sugar cookie, is the strongest and smartest woman I know.
From age 15 to 30, my mom held down a job, graduated high school, was the first woman in her family to graduate from college, got married and had her first child. Realizing all of that happened in a matter of fifteen years is probably one of the scariest realizations I’ve had in a while. At 30 years old, my mom and dad decided that it was best for our family that she quit her job, to raise my older brother, Keefe, and future children (A.K.A my little brother Cole, and I).
I don’t know who I would be without my mom making the choices she did. She went to school, had a successful career, and then when it came time, gave up that career to become a full-time mother of three. When my dad and she got divorced, the only thing she had to show for being a woman with a strong work ethic, was three children. My brothers and I were smart, obedient kids and the product of successful parenting, but we definitely didn’t pay the bills. It's hard not to lose yourself to the heartbreak that comes with divorce. It's a struggle emotionally and financially, but my mom continued on, stronger than ever.
You could say that raising my brothers and I was work, or a pain in the ass, and my mom had nothing to show for it from a professional standpoint. From every extra-curricular, homemade dinner, teacher conference and punishment enforcement, my mom put everything she had into her children.
She didn’t do it alone, my father is a one of kind dad who always goes above and beyond in his own fatherly duties. Despite having the two most amazing parents in the world, my family’s circumstance meant that those two amazing parents now parented separately rather than as a unit. After the divorce and during my last few years of adolescence, my brothers and I lived with my mom. Unfortunately for her, that means she had to take on three teenagers and was often left with no choice but to play the “bad” cop. I know that now, hindsight is 20/20 right? I also know that I should appreciate or at the very least acknowledge, the sacrifices and effort my mom has made to make me not just the woman, but also the person I am today.
I want to be the woman with the beautiful house, nice cars and lavish vacations. Maybe one day I’ll want a family to fill the house, drive in the cars and spend the vacations with. Until then I’m just working on being as smart and as strong as my mom is and to give her something to show for all the work that she did.
