Open Relationships: Those who dont want to lose passion

Open Relationships: Those who dont want to lose passion

Some girls are Vanilla some not so much

     Open relationships get a lot of backlash because it’s became more of a millennial way of life. You're devoted to one partner while having small insignificant flings. As a girl who loves to live her life to the fullest I've never saw the issue with this as long as there is a understanding. With me and my partners I've always struggled because of my need for freedom and the boredom I get from not having fun. This doesn't mean sleeping with several different guys, if it does for you then no judgment it’s making you happy and you're living your best life. For me it’s always meant meeting different people and experiencing different personalities, but at the same time my main focus be my main partner.

It’s hard to know what you want on life especially when it comes to love. Most girls want the same thing however, Passion. That feeling you have with someone where you feel alive like in the movies. Yes you can get it but keeping it is harder. You see him for the first time and it’s like a magnet pulled you to him, then you start talking. It seems like everything is going right you have his attention. But the real question is how long can I keep his attention?

    You become exclusive and you know it, that you have him but that’s where things go down. Now that you have each other you no longer need to play the game. You don’t have to work for each others feelings they’re just expected because you’re together. As a girl who needs to feel burning passion and the thrill, what is the fun in that? The honeymoon phase is gone that spark you had together when the feelings were hidden is gone because now, you’re a Vanilla couple. You can't have that fun thrill of being chased, of having the craving that yeah we're looking at others but I want them to want me. You just know they want you and you do couple things.

    When out you have no need to stick out from the other girls because you’re on his arm. Those guys who would droll at you and do anything for your attention it’s gone because of that title. That freedom to go out with whoever and still have each other is gone. That’s what the open relationship is all about. Given not all girls can handle the passion that comes with an open relationship, some need a guy devoted to them and giving all attention to her and that's fine to be a vanilla couple. But some girls need a passionate relationship that comes with the devotion but without that attention because that can become a bore.Freedom, you both are devoted to each other but you have to work to keep that passion. He’s going to some other girls place, well I’m gonna be all he’s thinking about while there. You make sure that he wants you romantically while being sexually involved with others. 

Well what if he leaves me for some other girl? It’s all about knowing how you both feel without having to say it, and having fun. That passion remains cause not only do you get to learn ways to bring up the heat with your partner you're enjoying each other and freedom. All people need freedom in life mainly you get this in college but as you get older you want that relationship and you can still have it during an open relationship. Once you get to that point in your life where you're done chasing that feeling of being alive you can stop being open. Most people practice this in their 20’s for the reason you're young and wanna have fun you want the passion and commitment but you want to experience all life has to offer. It’s okay to always want more because you only have this life once.

    


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Stop Searching For Your 'Other Half,' You're Already Whole

When we call them our other half, we are calling ourselves a half.

Listen. I get it.

I know what it's like to truly feel as if you cannot live without another person (spoiler alert: you can). Even Johnny Cash lived without June for four months. I believe he did truly die of heartbreak, but he did make it those four months. And there is no love like Johnny and June's.

Being in love is great and all that jazz. I am not trying to take away from that whatsoever. However, everyone needs to start realizing their own worth and be their own person. I believe some people truly find themselves when they are in love, but I don't think it is the other person that makes them whole.

We are not puzzle pieces, we are humans.

You have to stop labeling your significant other as your "other half." You shouldn't be searching for your other half. You should be whole on your own.

This is a concept I attempt to drill into my friends' minds relentlessly. You have to give yourself time to be alone. Being lonely is stigmatized and represents such an awful thing, a misfortune. Why is this? I love my alone time. Even when I'm with people I love, I get excited about my alone time. Yes, I know being alone and being lonely are two different things, but I don't find either of them to be negative. You have to find yourself on your own terms. You make mistakes and learn from them, so why not make mistakes trying to learn about yourself?

Some people in relationships post photos of their significant other and talk incessantly about their love for them. They say that they would be lost without them. It seems romantic on the surface, but have you ever tried looking deeper than that?

You're saying you are nothing without this person. But who were you before this person? You had your friends. You had hobbies, you had interests and you most likely had goals or desires too. Someone whom you love could easily enhance all of these for you and motivate you to be your best. But that does not mean reaching those things wouldn't have been possible without them giving you a thumbs up.

"Love finds you when you're ready." It's something we have all heard before. And most of us have probably put our trust in it, saying it'll come when it's supposed to. But what does it mean to be "ready" for love?

I'm going to go with this: you are ready for love when you are able to live without it.

The best things happen when they are least expected.

There are thousands upon thousands of different ways to say it, but it all comes down to the one concept of being your own whole.

Personally, finding love, being in love, relationships... it has never been my focus. Maybe it's because I'm not ready. I don't feel comfortable being considered "someones," and I'm not good at making someone feel 100% all day every day when I know I'm not always going to be my best self either. How do I make someone feel like they're okay if I don't feel okay myself?

The point I'm trying to make here is simple. You can be crazy in love and heart eyes all day long and I will support you to no end. But you must realize that if you are labeling someone as your other half, then you're declaring yourself unwhole.

It's no surprise to me that one of my favorite quotes is from an unknown source, but I fell in love with it over ten years ago:

"I am not searching for my other half, because I am not a half."

Be your own person — your own, true self — and you will attract another true self. And even just the thought of the type of love that can develop from that could cause absolute explosions.

Cover Image Credit: Cheyenne Santoro

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There Is No Greater Feeling Than Looking Into Someone's Eyes And Seeing A Future

There is no greater feeling than love.

If you would've asked me a year ago how my life would be now, I wouldn't have an answer. But if you asked me right now where my life would be in a year, I'd say somewhere with you.

The definition of 'love' on Urban Dictionary is:

"an affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It's when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that's how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa."

It started at the end of my summer going into my freshman year of college. I was ready for this new chapter of life- college. I had no expectations except for cute boys, fun parties, and many memories with my new friends. I was like any other girl going to college; not looking for anything. Everyone always built into my head "why would you want a boyfriend your freshman year," "experience the college life single," "you'll meet plenty of boys at school," "just have fun..." but in the blink of an eye none of that mattered.

After being placed in group chats and facebook pages, there was always one boy who caught my eye, but little did I know we met before. Do you ever read that stuff on twitter where it is like "what if you have already met the love of your life and had no idea?" Yeah, it kind of felt like that. We were at the same prom, beach, senior week, and college parties, and I had no idea that some stranger was going to mean so much to me one day.

I went from having the mindset that boys are stupid to not being able to take this boy off my mind. I have only ever been "in love" one other time, but this love does not compare to that. It doesn't even come close to it. This love is greater than any love, and he is greater than any boy.

It is crazy how fast things can change and how comfortable you can become with another person. There is no greater feeling than being able to look into someone's eyes and see a future.

Cover Image Credit: love panky

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