Open Relationships: Those who dont want to lose passion

Open Relationships: Those who dont want to lose passion

Some girls are Vanilla some not so much
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     Open relationships get a lot of backlash because it’s became more of a millennial way of life. You're devoted to one partner while having small insignificant flings. As a girl who loves to live her life to the fullest I've never saw the issue with this as long as there is a understanding. With me and my partners I've always struggled because of my need for freedom and the boredom I get from not having fun. This doesn't mean sleeping with several different guys, if it does for you then no judgment it’s making you happy and you're living your best life. For me it’s always meant meeting different people and experiencing different personalities, but at the same time my main focus be my main partner.

It’s hard to know what you want on life especially when it comes to love. Most girls want the same thing however, Passion. That feeling you have with someone where you feel alive like in the movies. Yes you can get it but keeping it is harder. You see him for the first time and it’s like a magnet pulled you to him, then you start talking. It seems like everything is going right you have his attention. But the real question is how long can I keep his attention?

    You become exclusive and you know it, that you have him but that’s where things go down. Now that you have each other you no longer need to play the game. You don’t have to work for each others feelings they’re just expected because you’re together. As a girl who needs to feel burning passion and the thrill, what is the fun in that? The honeymoon phase is gone that spark you had together when the feelings were hidden is gone because now, you’re a Vanilla couple. You can't have that fun thrill of being chased, of having the craving that yeah we're looking at others but I want them to want me. You just know they want you and you do couple things.

    When out you have no need to stick out from the other girls because you’re on his arm. Those guys who would droll at you and do anything for your attention it’s gone because of that title. That freedom to go out with whoever and still have each other is gone. That’s what the open relationship is all about. Given not all girls can handle the passion that comes with an open relationship, some need a guy devoted to them and giving all attention to her and that's fine to be a vanilla couple. But some girls need a passionate relationship that comes with the devotion but without that attention because that can become a bore.Freedom, you both are devoted to each other but you have to work to keep that passion. He’s going to some other girls place, well I’m gonna be all he’s thinking about while there. You make sure that he wants you romantically while being sexually involved with others. 

Well what if he leaves me for some other girl? It’s all about knowing how you both feel without having to say it, and having fun. That passion remains cause not only do you get to learn ways to bring up the heat with your partner you're enjoying each other and freedom. All people need freedom in life mainly you get this in college but as you get older you want that relationship and you can still have it during an open relationship. Once you get to that point in your life where you're done chasing that feeling of being alive you can stop being open. Most people practice this in their 20’s for the reason you're young and wanna have fun you want the passion and commitment but you want to experience all life has to offer. It’s okay to always want more because you only have this life once.

    


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To 'That Guy' From High School, My Life Was Always Better Off Without You

I truly wish that I would have never met you.

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Silly me for thinking that you were forever - believing the promises and accepting all of your gifts. I took your words to heart: "I want you and only you for the rest of my life." You fantasized romance for me. I thought those feelings were only possible in the movies. I raved about you, spoke so highly about you, and about how I could see a future with you. Silly me.

Silly me for losing friendships over you. I had best friends before you. But then you had me convinced that you were the only person that I needed. They all warned me but I was blinded by your love. There was no way that they could've been right. You were so sweet. You would have never. Silly me.

Silly me for choosing you over experience. You controlled every ounce of my being. I wanted to go out without you but I wasn't allowed. I missed so much because of you and I thought that was normal. I was no longer an individual but rather someone who's life was dictated by someone else's opinions. You told me what was right and wrong. Silly me.

Silly me for believing what you said about my body. I was perfectly content before you came along. But yet there I was, attempting to lose weight and wear more makeup because you told me to. I became a new person around you - one that I didn't like. But I did it anyway, for you. Silly me.

Silly me for thinking I was the only one. I believed the lies that come flowing out of your mouth as if they had been rehearsed for days. You conditioned your eyes to innocence - and I believed them without a doubt. Silly me.

Silly me for not picking up on the signs. Your lies had been inconspicuously drilled into my head. I couldn't even think straight. You had me overcome with emotion to the point where I ignored the hints: the texts with other girls, the lies, the rumors. It all went unnoticed. Silly me.

Silly me for giving you the time of day after I found out what you did. I had always heard of people being cheated on but I never thought that it would've happened to me. Yet, there I was trying to justify why it was okay for you to cheat on me 20+ times. You had me questioning what did wrong to make you not want me. You made me question myself and who I was. Silly me.

And silly me for not knowing my worth earlier on. You stole my happiness, you stole my confidence, you stole my voice, you stole my trust - things I will never be able to fully regain ever again.

I still think about it from time to time, and when I do - I hate myself for ever letting you have that control over me. I truly wish I would've never met you because my life would have been so much better off without you.

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I Have High Standards And I Refuse To Lower Them

"I'm not a stop along the way. I'm a destination." - Blair Waldorf

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Remember when you were a little kid and people asked you what kind of person you wanted to date? My answer was always Zac Efron (he set the bar for my generation and is still eye candy). Zac Efron was the creme de la creme; he was cute, tall, muscular, and because I was six years old and believed that things on the television were real, I thought he was actually a singer and basketball player (don't blame my six-year-old asinine thoughts). Zac set the bar fairly high for me and ever since my standards have not lowered.

There are many reasons why I have such high standards, but the main one is because my mom is the light of my life. She always told me that whenever I began to start dating that I should never look for a man who treats himself with little to no respect.

Self-respect can go a long way and if your potential significant other doesn't see their own worth, how will they see the worth in the relationship? You can build them up and boost their morale as much as you can, but it takes two to tango, so they need to put equal effort in improving themselves as much as you are to help them reach their peak. Stand by them and love them with all of your heart, but make sure that they know they are loved and deserve to be loved.

I have this shirt that my mom bought for me as a birthday gift and it says, "a lil' bougie." It is my all-time favorite shirt and I wear it every chance that I get because I want people to see that I have high expectations of myself; therefore, I have even higher expectations of my future boyfriend and I refuse to lower my standards for anyone.

I understand that I probably won't find a Chuck Bass, Nate Archibald, Barry Allen, Archie Andrews, or a Ryan Reynolds for years, but I know that if I continue to carry myself in such a manner where I expect great things from myself, he'll come to me and we can both boost each other up.

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