The Secret Behind Pain and Vulnerability

Hurt. It's something we've all been, in one capacity or another. We've all been hurt by either someone, something or maybe we even hurt ourselves. It's strange to think about what this does to a person, how pain dictates our lives. Many times the pain we feel can't be seen, it's something that sits in our minds making us go crazy. But what do we do with that pain? What do we do with this pain that has the potential to change who we are as a person?

If you're like me, then at first you ignore it. The phrase "Fake it till you make it." is literally my life motto. It's much easier to pretend for the sake everyone else that you aren't weeping inside rather than people asking you questions such as why. With ignoring the pain, you purposely bottle every single feeling inside hoping that it will permanently disappear. Spoiler alert, it doesn't! As a matter of fact, it normally gets 10x worse! This is basically where everything begins to get much more distressing.

How do you ask? Simple, you explode. And you don't just yell and scream, oh no, you go cuckoo bananas on anything and anyone. No one in your life is safe, especially the people closest to you. These are the people who want to help you and that's why they're unsafe. They want to know what you're thinking about in order to help you. So they inadvertently pry into your innermost thoughts where the pain resides. You resist of course (hurting them in the process), why would you let yourself be in such a vulnerable position? By definition vulnerable means to be susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. But being vulnerable does not make you weak. Being vulnerable allows you to connect on a deeper more emotional level with another person. It is through our vulnerability that we find strength in others and ultimately ourselves.

You might be wondering what this has to do with the subject of pain, but vulnerability and pain go together like the sea and the shore, constantly connecting at every break of the waves.

I also know you're thinking, what does any of this have to do with who we are as a person? Honestly, it has everything to do with who we are. There is not a human on this planet who is completely pain-free, every single one of us is hurt or has been hurt. We choose how to handle the pain, we choose whether or not it changes us. We choose to be vulnerable and let someone in for help. Don't let yourself explode, please find a way to process what you're feeling. I can't tell you what to do with your pain. I can only advise that you don't be like me, don't let yourself hurt without seeking solace. At this point in time, I have found ways to cope and begin healing and I want to do the same.

I'll let you in on a secret, being vulnerable is not easy, it does not happen overnight, but it is helpful. Unfortunately, not everyone in your life will be open to your vulnerability. There will be people who may try to hurt you or only want you to be there for them without returning the favor. I want you to listen when I say that you do not need them. If they aren't making an effort to be a positive impact in your life then they don't deserve you. Find people who want to be there for you, they're rare. If you're trying to help someone, don't let them push you away. Fight to be in their life.

Not all change is negative, the person who is left after dealing with massive amounts of pain will be stronger, more emotionally savvy and you'll be surrounded by the best people you'll ever meet. Let yourself be vulnerable, being in pain every day is not a healthy way to live. Do not bottle your feelings, you are not glass but you will break. Don't be afraid to change yourself for the better. Creative outlets such as poetry or theatre can be therapeutic and you might just find the help you need.