I want a best friend. Not a boyfriend. Relationships are overrated, and in the end, all they do is crash and burn. Every relationship I’ve been in i’ve put in so much time and effort and way too many feelings. When I’m in a relationship I get controlling and jealous and honestly care way too much. This is why I can’t have a boyfriend.

I’m at a point in my life where I'm trying to figure out so many things. What I want to do for a living. Where I want to live. How I want my life to be. What my purpose is. And I’m also trying to grow as a person and young adult.

I need to grow as a person and care for myself before I start caring about someone else. If I had a boyfriend, I would want to put him first and right now with all that's going on, and I really need to put myself first. I need to think of my needs before someone else’s.

However, I want a best friend. Sometimes I get lonely and I just want someone to be there. I want someone who I can hangout with and play video games and watch movies with. I want it to be casual. But I do want some of the boyfriend aspects. I want to cuddle and hold hand. I want to kiss and to love. But at the same time don't want to be in love. I want someone who I can hangout with from time to time, but not all the time. I want it to be relaxed. Someone who I can share my secrets with and trust. But also go days without talking and have that be okay. Kinda like having a girl best friend but with a guy. And of course add the benefits part.

I think some of the best relationships come from good friendships. When your best friend is your partner then you can 100% be yourself, and you don't have to worry about hurting the other person's feeling. You can be open and honest with everything. And you also know that the other person isn't going anywhere. They got your back and you got theirs. They support all of you decisions and help you along the way and most importantly; they don't hold you back.

Honestly, I’ve seen so many relationships end so badly. Especially right out of high school and in college. And don't get me wrong—some day I do want to date someone, when the time is right and when I've figured out my life. However, for right now I feel that having a best friend or even a best friend with benefits would be so much better than having a boyfriend. This is what I need and it’s what I want. Like I said relationships are overrated and too complicated. Uncomplicate things and just have best friend. All the perks of a relationship without all the drama.

A wise woman once told me, “Focus on living a good life and developing your talents and skills. When you are happy and successful in what you do, you will attract a wonderful young man, and he will be grateful and proud to spend his life with you.”

Those are some words I live by.