Waking up in the morning sick is a horrible feeling. That is not intended to be a pun. It's the truth. When you wake up feeling like your entire body hurts, you are in chronic pain, and you question whether you will be able to make it through another day, it is a horrible feeling. You just don't know what to do.
Climbing out of bed takes every ounce of energy you have. Or what little energy you have. Rolling over to even get to that point feels like you've been hit by a pickup truck. Or a train. Whichever one would do the most damage and hurt the most in a short period of time. And when you finally get the energy to actually lower your feet to the floor, you feel like you've been hit with a brick. You stutter. You shuffle. You say a small prayer that you're not going to go crashing to the floor. You don't want to have to be "that person" that cries, "I've fallen and I can't get up."
Waking up sick is a horrible feeling. And again, that's not a pun. Nor is it intended to be. It's just the truth. But what's sad is that you can walk by your co-worker, your best friend, your neighbor, your wife, your kids, or anyone else that you encounter during your day and they have no clue what you're going through.
You can go to church and listen to people preach about Jesus, say they'll be there for you and they'll give you the support you need but they have no clue what's going on in your body or your mind. You can walk by your neighbor who always tells you, "I'm here for you if you ever need anything," but in reality they know little or nothing about what you're suffering through.
And you don't want to discuss it with your wife, girlfriend or your kids. You don't want to worry them. You don't want to put fear into their hearts. You don't want to scare them. You don't want them leaving the house wondering if maybe today is, "the day" and they might find out later on you've died. You don't want to put that fear into anyone's mind. But the reality is, it could happen. Because waking up sick is a horrible thing. And you just don't know when that could be the last day you wake up.
Trying to stumble through the day is misery at times. Trying to do the things you love hurts like hell. Trying to walk through the mall takes more out of you than you ever imagined. Taking your dog for a walk puts fear into your heart and makes you wonder if maybe you'll just die while a half a block from home. At times you question whether you're going to make it through the day. And at times you question if there is a part of your body that doesn't hurt.
It's a horrible feeling.
When you wake up sick, you sit there for a second. You question if you can do it. You ask yourself if it's worth it. You want to roll back over and go back to bed. You don't want to leave. It doesn't take energy to lay there all day. It doesn't hurt to just sit there and not move. It doesn't send you through spasms of pain that make your entire being feel like it's been hit with a freight train full of rocks. You can sit there all day. Watch TV. Watch the world go by. And not hurt.
When you wake up sick, you don't know what it's going to bring during the day. Will the pain get worse? Will it finally stop? Will it put you through the most horrible misery you could ever imagine? Will it be a struggle to do the simplest actions during your work day? Will you be able to function? Can you keep a smile on your face? Or do you just want to tell the world that you hurt and you wish it would stop.
It's a horrible feeling.
When you walk by someone, you may see a smile on their face. They may say hello. They may ask you how you're doing. They may ask about your kids. They may ask about your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or your dog. And if you take 30 seconds to ask them, they may answer with the simplest, "I'm doing great. Thanks for asking," when in reality their body may be hurting, they may be suffering from the most unimaginable pain that anyone could be going through and all they have going through their head is, "I want to go back to bed and never leave."
When you wake up sick, it's a horrible feeling. You suffer. You struggle. Your body hurts. Everything about you hurts. You feel miserable. You don't want to talk to people. You don't want to smile. You don't want to walk. You don't want to run. You don't want to talk. You don't want to hurt. If you have never experienced that? You should try walking a mile in someone's shoes that lives it every day. It's not something I would wish on anyone in the world.
When you wake up sick you struggle, you battle, you fight and most times you lose. It hurts like hell. You cringe when you move. You question if it's going to hurt the next step you take. You question fi you will be able to take the next step. You wonder if today is going to be worst than yesterday. You wonder if tomorrow is going to hurt worse than any day that you've ever had. It's a horrible feeling.
You don't know what someone is going through. They can smile. They can shake your hand. They can give you a hug. They can ask about your day. And all the while the pain is unbearable. They feel horrible. They are suffering. They are struggling. They are barely making it through the day. It took everything they had to roll over without it hurting so bad they wanted to cry. It took everything they had to drop their feet to the floor. It took even more to walk across the bedroom, get in the shower, do what needed to be done and get through the day.
I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's a horrible feeling. I know.
Because I live it every single day.