Sometimes you just need a little push – someone to hold you accountable and keep you in check. I definitely had that moment this week. Everyone who knows me knows that I tend to overreact when I get overwhelmed. It is not like I do it to get attention. Every once in a while, I just need someone to listen to me talk and validate my feelings. Typing this out makes me sound like a crazy person, and I acknowledge that, however, I took huge strides this past week with regards to making my own decisions.

Here was my dilemma:

Since I have a pretty decent GPA, I have a lot of professional opportunities ahead of me. While many people see that as an amazing thing, I got overwhelmed. Have you ever had ten people giving you ten different opinions about the same topic? That is exactly what happened to me with regards to my future in forensic science. Some advisors said I should graduate early and get a job, some said to study abroad, and some more said I needed to change my honors thesis topic. Others still said I was doing just fine on the track I was on. Mind you, I am trying to get into a good graduate school after I graduate to pursue my dream of becoming a trace examiner.

There I stood, in the middle of the hallway, on the verge of tears, rambling on to anyone on the forensic science floor that would listen to me. At that point, my research advisor swooped in to save the day. I moved to his office just blabbing on and not making sense, and he patiently listened until I finished. After the word vomit ceased, he just laughed and pointed out that I already had my mind set on what I wanted to do, but was afraid to do because other people told me that I should be doing otherwise.

In that moment, I felt like all of my stress and confusion were gone. That simple statement gave me permission to take control of my own life. Although I might have advisors out the wazoo, I have the ultimate say in my life decisions, and I am the one who has to own them. I realized that it is okay to make mistakes because there are people in my life to help pick up the pieces.

After this meeting, I decided to continue with my current thesis project, drop a certificate that I was never going to use anyway, and take fewer courses to have more time to get hands on experience in outside research. I now know that there are many different ways to get to my end goal and that although people take different paths to get there, I can definitely accomplish whatever I set out to do. I am just going to enjoy it and see what happens.