"And when you think you need someone to help you carry the pain, just look in the mirror. There is where you will find your reason, your friend, your guide, your hero."
-Madsoul

I have a confession to make.

Lately, I have been personally struggling with my own sense of self and finding the foundation on which I have continued to build my life. It's not to say that I have doubted my abilities or purpose, but that I have found myself back in the very place I resent the most.

The Waiting Place

A place even Dr. Seuss makes sure to talk about in his books. A place where we find ourselves unsure of where to go next. Whether because of our own doing or simply an inability to move forward until whatever it is we find ourselves waiting on shows up or gives us an answer.

I found myself here a year ago as I was waiting on the results of my dad's cancer. Waiting to determine if I wanted to apply to medical school yet or apply during my gap year. Waiting for the right guy to show up in my life and waiting for the thousands of dollars I need to afford this crazy life.

And in all honesty, I can't help but admit just how much I absolutely hate this place. The life lessons I am forced to swallow. The aspects brought to light that were otherwise hidden and the undeniable sense of dread in receiving the answer I will never want, but most likely need.

What I believe is most important about this place; however, is the ability to learn more about yourself than you ever imagined possible. It was in this very place that I learned how much I could withstand. How I can continue to move forward despite challenges threatening to knock me down. How I can change anything about myself in the blink of an eye, but sometimes I shouldn't.

Most importantly, I learned that I will always be my best advocate

Though hurricane force winds might threaten to knock me down, as long as I have faith and courage in my abilities I will always make it out. Because the waiting place won't last forever, but my overall learned disposition on life and disappointment will.

Whether you find yourself waiting for acceptance into grad school, an engagement ring from your lover, the next paycheck or simply a way out, I hope you might first enjoy where you are. To appreciate the individuals sitting alongside you, who are waiting just as you are. To admire the very thing that has threatens to bring you down, but never can.

You see, it is in the silence that we might find hope. Where we might find the answer it is we seek or the encouragement to begin again. This is why ceremonies typically begin with a moment of silence, to enable you the participant, to do whatever it is you need for YOU.

Right now my waiting place has me standing at the beginning of a gap year. Standing at the submission of medical school applications, but no promise in tomorrow.

And while this feat is as daunting and unknowing as it sounds, I welcome it

Because it means that I am living. That I am taking risks that will teach me a lesson regardless of the circumstance, but most importantly because it requires me to sit and wait. To smell the roses that we often forget are just beneath our noses. To notice new wrinkles and to consider new roads. And to give ourselves the opportunity to hope for something larger than ourselves.

So regardless of where it is you stand on your journey, whether it be at the beginning or the end, I hope you might remember who it is you are waiting for. Because YOU will always be the most important character in your story.