Why are so many of us in such a hurry? And why are we always ready to rush into relationships? Are we desperately hoping that the current prospect is “The One?” I mean, who can really blame us though? It’s hard not to long for that perfect person and that perfect relationship. And nobody likes to be lonely. You stand by watching all of your friends getting married and having children, and you feel like you’ve got to find a spouse fast so you can get started on your own “happily ever after.” Because we don’t want to get behind schedule when it comes to our future.
So often, we see something in a person that seems promising. It looks so good that we may allow ourselves to be blinded by a plethora of other characteristics and habits that may not be so great. But we plunge in anyway thinking, “This has to be what God wants for me.” But is it really? Think about your past relationships.
Did you pray?
Did you thoroughly seek God about it?
Were you intently watching and listening for God’s guidance and approval?
Did you feel God’s peace speaking to your heart saying, “Yes, move forward?" Or did it not feel right, but you wanted it to be, so you thought that was a good enough reason to pursue the relationship?
If your answer was no to any of these questions above, maybe you should reevaluate before you go any further or begin a relationship. I have found it is critical to date with a purpose. No, this doesn’t mean you will marry the first “good” guy or girl that comes along. But to ensure you are on the right track, it so important to have a solid grasp on the things you want and don’t want in a relationship. Along with praying and seeking God’s will, knowing early on what you will and will not accept from a suitor is a step in the right direction if you want to date with a purpose. I have discovered that making a checklist of these things will help keep you on track when considering starting a new relationship. It will give you something to go by so you won’t look back weeks, months or years later thinking, “Why didn’t I notice this sooner?” Think long and hard about the things that are going to matter five, 10, even 30 years down the road. FYI, my list has changed. A lot.
Take a look at my list.
I don’t want perfect. I don’t want prideful. I don’t want selfish. I don’t want lazy. I don’t need handsome. I’m not interested in money. I don’t want a smooth talker. And I definitely don’t want Prince Charming.
I want a God chaser (not just a “God-knower”). I want loyal. I want honesty and a man who sticks to his word. I want a man who puts God before myself. I want respect. I want communication — but I don’t want a man who only says what he thinks I want to hear. I want a man with inward strength. I want a man who has a love for family.
Maybe your list is similar to mine. Maybe you have high expectations, and you’re concerned that your list entails too much. But when it comes to the man or woman you are going to spend every day with, raise children with and grow old with, you must be picky. Don’t get tired of waiting, and do not settle, my dear friend. The best advice I can give you is that you have to learn to be content being single and being with God. And while you’re waiting, pray for your future husband or wife, and pray for patience not to jump into a relationship until you’re sure it is what God wants for you.
And it wouldn’t hurt to start working on your checklist now.
