Being single seems lame

It's Better To Be Single Than Settling For The Wrong Relationship

All it takes is patience.

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We all get anxious and we all get impatient with it. We hear every cliché in the book about, "You're still young," "You still have plenty of time," and "The right person will come when you least expect it." Okay, we get it. The same thing is heard over and over again.

With all these different things that are told to us about nothing being wrong with being single and waiting for the right person, most people don't even take into consideration that being in a relationship just to say they're in one is a waste of time. Love is not as simple as it seems and you can't just expect someone to be your soulmate even if they're a spitting image of you. We all wish everything would work out smoothly with everyone, but the truth is that we are meant to wait for our true half to be out there.

Giving the wrong person all that you have (attention, love, affection, and, dare I say, even sexual relations) is wrong. They don't care about you or your needs: they just want you to make you feel better about yourself and, more importantly, themselves. They don't belong in your life and they don't care about helping you grow and change. Sometimes the unpopular alternative is for the best: Being single until that person shows up.

In today's society and lifestyle, it's very difficult to try and stay single. It's because we see all our peers and friends and what they're doing in their lives. Myself, personally, I get agitated and annoyed seeing my friends from high school continuing on relationships and some even about to get married and even having kids. People should not refuse to give people chances that are worth our time but we also shouldn't jump the gun with someone.

Just because one date with someone goes well, does not mean that person is right for you and just because you don't click with someone right away does not mean that person is not interested in you. There's plenty of other things you can do and diving into a new person every time you're single is not one of those options.

And for those with the bullshit definition of love being when you want or need to be with them every second of the day or when you depend on them and your whole life revolves around them, I suggest you stop reading this right now because you couldn't be any more wrong.

A common fear people have is never finding someone to create a life with and as a result, we lower our standards. This is the wrong route to take. Focusing on sticking with someone we shouldn't force ourselves with, both the person you're with AND yourself become (for lack of a better phrase) a tool. They use you for their satisfaction. They don't care about how it makes you feel.

To the many people out there that are still single and haven't had a real relationship, I understand the frustration. The peer pressure gets to you and it causes you to feel like you need to ask out the next man or woman you see. The loneliness and everyone you know being in a relationship seem demoralizing but it really is for the best.

Continuing for falling for the wrong person and staying in a relationship is a big mistake that you learn the hard way and before you know it, you leave the wrong person while the right person has moved on from you. Relationships aren't something to take for granted just to say you're in one: it's something that takes years and lots of patience to find. You'll find yours soon, but for now, it's a blessing in disguise to stay single.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

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I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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