The So-Called 'Virginity Burden'
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Listen Up, I Don't Give A F*Ck If You're A Virgin Or Not, Let's Lose The So-Called 'Virginity Burden'

Feeling insecure about your virginity (or lack thereof) is all in your head, society can suck it.


In the midst of our violent society, people have decided to attempt to solve their feelings and appease their minds by means of, well, savagery.

Yet, as witnessed by Martin Luther King Jr.:

"Violence never really deals with the basic evil of the situation. Violence may murder the murderer murder. Violence may murder the liar, but it doesn't murder lie; it doesn't establish truth. Violence may even murder the dishonest man, but it doesn't murder dishonesty. Violence may go to the point of murdering the hater, but it doesn't murder hate. It may increase hate. It is always a descending spiral leading nowhere. This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems."

Unfortunately, years later, our world is still arguing over violence-based issues and how to settle these challenges. Accordingly, on Friday, November 2nd the misogynistic Scott Beierle opened fire at the Hot Yoga Tallahassee studio killing two innocent women before killing himself. The 40-year-old gunman, previously reported for brutality against women, resorted to gun violence as a means of resolving his anger towards women, which was a continuous sentiment discerned from his Youtube channel. Supposedly, he "identified with "involuntary celibates"–otherwise known as 'incels'" and was at rage with women. Additionally, Beierle was thought to be "mentally ill and perhaps suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome" as an army veteran. Hence, in the first place, he should not be able to have an instrument that has the ability to take the life of another and himself. He was set off too easily.

No one wished to go out on a date. No one wished to get to know him. But, it is notthe women's fault for their personal decisions. Anyhow, Beierle was resentful and "could've ripped [their] head[s] off." Sounds like a logical solution.

Thus, he joined the movement devoted to "members [that] have been unfairly denied sex by women because they're unattractive or socially awkward" and infamously known for their terrorist attack in Toronto.*

"I don't think a female can ever understand the societal pressure that's put on an adolescent male to unburden himself of this stigma that society's put on him... 'This virginity burden.'" – Scott Beierle

By neighbors, Beierle's was described as uncomfortable, lonesome, and "odd and obnoxious." He clearly didn't fit in, but that doesn't excuse his behavior. Senseless hostility will not help men (and women) who are under the pressures of "this virginity burden." Although our culture is not yet sexually liberated and without stigma on certain aspects of sex, there are those who feel incredibly uncomfortable with their "pure" stance. Media pushes the importance for men to lose their virginity, and looks down upon the real-life "The 40-Year-Old Virgin(s)." I do not respect Beierle's aggressive behaviors, but I feel for his pain and mental struggle with society.

Our world's common, prevalent thoughts are, in reality, harming our humanity.

What we can do, however, is eliminate "this virginity burden." Both women and men feel pressured to lose their virginities as after a certain age people just expect you to have done so. It messes with their individual idea of masculinity or feminity. For example, The New York Times' Kate McGovern chronicled her times with doctors who insisted she may be pregnant and where she would reply that although she was in her 20s, she's still a virgin. McGovern even made a promise to herself at the age of 21 that she would lose her virginity when she turned 25. She never followed through with that goal and became envious of other girls. McGovern "was [even] willing to lie, even pay, for the illusion of normalcy." She yearned to feel like a woman.

Beierle struggled with his inability to get a girl and instead resorted to sexually harassing women: "It was the way he lurked and followed girls." Similarly, many teenage boys turn to aggression as they aren't able to get the attention of a woman anyway else.

In my sophomore year of high school, one of my best guy friends pushed me against a wall and begged for me to kiss him since he never had a first kiss. When I denied, he blocked the door, grabbed me, and forced me to sit on him. I'm an athlete but wasn't strong enough. He asked to touch my boobs and "feel me up," I disgustedly wriggled out of his grip, but I felt his anger and staring daggers.

We've already lost lives for this insensible response. Boys and girls, violence is never the answer. All issues in society can be solved without belligerence, death, fear, tears, pain, and loss. As Gandhi once asserted, "An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind."

*According to Incel's administration the group itself does not condone violence, yet members of the group can't be controlled and are extremists in their own sense.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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