Artistry is a funny thing. Like a mother with her newly born child, an artist will often be utterly oblivious to if his or her 'masterpiece' upon completion is really a heaping pile of shit. It's an understandable phenomenon. When you work months upon months trying to make something worthy of unworthy people's attention, a couple screws in your noggin are apt to come loose, and next thing you know, you've got the robotic peyote-induced manifestation of loneliness staring back at you inside your weird, cramped living room.

This isn't always the case, however—at least not quite. Sometimes an artist's work can be of adequate or exceptional quality, but also be so terrifying that onlookers (or in our case, viewers) will spontaneously shit their pants upon sight of it and confusedly declare it a heaping pile of shit by mere cause-and-effect affiliation.

Case in point, “Dining Room Or There Is Nothing.”

So the video begins like a Jane Austin novel in Hell. This would be mostly hyperbole, except there's actually fire burning in the background. A Victorian RealDoll holding a spoon is sitting a stranger-danger's distance from the camera with her eyes shut. You can probably guess what happens ne—

Goddammit.

Anyway, Miss Pride and Pentagram speaks unintelligibly like some possessed, water-damaged Tex Ruxpin . . .

. . . to which the camera reacts like any of us would by moving away, though slowly as not to incur any primal wrath.

Apparently narcoleptic, Miss Pentagram drops her head into her bowl of damned souls.

Meanwhile, the camera continues to zoom out, revealing the rest of the dining room. And look! There's another bowl of damned souls just for you! (Tip: don't take it.)

The camera maintains its cool, safe distance for several seconds before deciding that it wants you to suffer, and begins zooming back in.

Approaching stranger-danger distance again, Miss Pentagram picks up her head . . .

. . . raspily utters, “There . . . is . . . nothing . . . ”

. . . then shuts her eyes.

Whew! Now to see who to blame for all of that. “Dining Room or There is Nothing” was created by film artist (whatever the hell that means at this point) David B. Earle, who on his website explains that the video has neither beginning nor end, and was inspired by “a paradoxical desire for empirical proof that there is nothing on the 'other' side of life.”

Whatever you say, man.

Link to Earle's website: http://www.davidbearle.com/nothing.html

The so-called "paradoxical desire for empirical proof":

And of course, sweet dreams.