I'm having trouble keeping up. Owning a Netflix account or any other streaming service can seem like a way of having friends hold you hostage with their friendship.
"Hey, what's up maaaan, haven't seen you in a while!"
"Good to see you, Gordan, it's been years!"
"Really? I remember now! We talked about "Game of Thrones" season 2 finale! That's right! Can you believe what just happened with Jon Snow and how he was able to come b...."
"STOP! NNNNoooo, sorry, sorry, I just haven't seen anything since then, I don't want it spoiled."
This is usually the part where Gordan splashes whatever drink he had in his hand at the time straight at your face to express his disgust for your lack of commitment to a marveling fantasy epic like "Game of Thrones." First of all, if you have a friend like Gordan, get better friends. Second, I didn't ask for this relentless commitment to T.V. shows that I have, and now I gotta rewatch the first season of "The O.A." so I can learn the "moves". A second season just isn't enough to take up my time... I'm being horrifically sarcastic when I say that, but there is just too much content to watch at this point that lately, I quite often just give up and put on "The Office," which I have seen all the way through over 5 times. This is because watching what I just previously watched sounds safer that dipping my toes into any sort of new subject.
"My Beautiful Broken Brain," a documentary about the road to recovery someone takes after losing vital communication skills. What an interesting hour and a half I can spend learning about how an adult has to relearn everything about interaction.... but it could be boring, right? I mean "Benihana Christmas" is cued up and I need to see Michael Scott singing karaoke to the wrong girl for my hilarity. It's not T.V. seasons or movies that we see getting stacked up in front of us, it's time, and spending enough time in open waters can give one comfort in knowing they exposed themselves to new content. But when that content continues to take advantage of our time, I start dreading the thought of having to watch "Iron Fist..." I'll get to it! I promise! I just gotta time it right before The Defenders comes out.
All I am saying is that the pressure for being wrong in your decision to watch things on Netflix has gone up, which in turn creates a less daring viewer. Maybe I'm just talking about myself, but I know there are some of you out there that know an ice cream flavor or something that is one choice out of like fifty where whenever you return to that establishment you got that that one flavor, you are more likely to pick that same flavor again. There is definitely a part of me that I have to fight off, like a kid that manifests itself inside me, nagging me in a CVS about asking for candy or gum in the line for the register.
"Oo oo, can I get the new Trident flavors!"
"NO! You know how GOOD spearmint is!? What!?!?! Do you LIKE wasting MY money!"
Sometimes I let my imaginary child have what he wants, like when I have money to splurge on coconut water. Like a lot of coconut water. Not just "replace all the water bottles" a lot. Not even "the garage fridge is full" a lot. I talking "bathing and tossing out the water" a lot, it's doing miracles for my skin.
"I can get it! Yaaayyyyy, what about the pineapple flavored coconut water!?!?"
*ruffles hair* "Go ahead sport! Why don't we try all of them!"
"I love you, dad."
"You don't exist."
This is when your child would start crying if you had one. Luckily, I don't have kids, because I would hold them hostage with Breaking Bad when they're five.
"No sweety, it's METH, not MATH."
