For many, rather than evoking pure, unadulterated joy, Christmas and the holidays evoke feelings of disillusion with the corporatization of America, and generalized depression as one is unable to truly connect with the impenetrable happiness that seems to surround the entire month of December.
If you're like Charlie Brown and are thinking, "there must be something wrong with me... Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel," worry not, as countless alternative Christmas songs share your lack of zeal for the holiday season.
1. Weezer "The Christmas Song"
Weezer's "The Christmas Song" is a tale of unrequited love whose melancholy impact is only intensified by the juxtaposed joyousness of Christmastime.
2. Ludacris "Ludacrismas"
With a beat that is doing the absolute most, Ludacris' eponymous Christmas "classic" provides an honest look at the dark side of the holiday season.
3. Ramones "Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)"
In this classic American punk rock Christmas song, the Ramones call upon Christmas' merriment and good times to ameliorate their relationship struggles.
4. Fetty Wap ft. Monty "Merry Xmas"
Your Christmas tree isn't the only thing getting lit this year. Fetty Wap has been taking over the radio with hit after hit, and now he's entering new territory in this track by rhyming "baby" with "baby" over ten times.
5. blink-182 "I Won't Be Home for Christmas"
A classic pop-punk, angst-filled, anti-Christmas Christmas song in which the protagonist is arrested for assault on workers dressed as elves on Christmas Eve.
6. Snoop Dogg "Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto"
From Death Row Records' 1996 album, Christmas on Death Row, Snoop Doggy Dogg is joined by Daz Dillinger, Nate Dogg, Tray Deee, and Bad Azz on this track to spread Christmas cheer to all lovers of G-funk.
7. The Futureheads "Christmas Was Better in the 80s"
British post-punk revival group, The Futureheads, presents a killer combination of angst and nostalgia in "Christmas Was Better in the 80s."
8. The Smashing Pumpkins "Christmastime"
"Christmastime" is quintessential Smashing Pumpkins with eerie vocals and somewhat ominous lyrics backed with traditional yuletide musicality.
9. New Found Glory "Nothing for Christmas"
A heartwarming, jingle bell-laden pop-punk tune in which human connection is valued over material gifts.
10. The Wonder Years "Christmas at 22"
The Wonder Years' raw, acoustic "Christmas at 22" authentically reflects on the dissonance many young adults feel when returning home for the holidays from college.
11. Run-D.M.C. "Christmas in Hollis"
Featuring a jolly and groovy beat, Run-D.M.C.'s "Christmas in Hollis" is a playful, upbeat and a boppin' way to spread some nontraditional Christmas cheer.
12. The Killers "Don't Shoot Me Santa"
The Killers tell the tale of a naughty-lister who has been offing neighborhood bullies negotiating with Santa Claus who sets his sites on assassinating the song's narrator.
13. Save Ferris "Christmas Wrapping"
If The Waitresses' "Christmas Wrapping" has become too mainstream for you, Save Ferris has a hilarious cover that looks at Christmas from the Jewish perspective.
14. The Maine "Santa Stole My Girlfriend"
This post-modern Santa is really getting around: kissing mothers, stealing girlfriends. I wonder what Mrs. Claus has to say about this.
15. Dropkick Murphys "The Season's Upon Us"
Dropkick Murphys have cornered the Celtic punk market and in "The Season's Upon Us" they poke fun at the family tension that has been known to reach its boiling point during the holiday season.
16. NOFX "Xmas Has Been X'ed"
NOFX presents a playful critique of Christianity as it posits a world in which it has been established that Jesus Christ was merely a metaphor in popular religious texts and the holidays celebrating his existence have become null and void.
17. Kanye West "Christmas in Harlem"
An updated version of Run-D.M.C's hip-hop Christmas standard. "Christmas in Harlem" features an awesome, smooth hook from Teyana Taylor and has several different versions featuring verses from Big Sean, Cam'ron, and CyHi Da Prynce.
18. The Vandals "Oi! To the World"
This ska-punk Christmas anthem was popularized by this cover by No Doubt.
19. Coldplay "Christmas Lights"
Coldplay's "Christmas Lights" is yet another emotional reflection on a relationship that has fallen on hard times during what ought to be the happiest time of the year.
20. Ying Yang Twins "Deck Da Club"
See also: "Carol of da Bellz." I wish I were joking.
21. The Matches "December is for Cynics"
A must-have on any rage-filled, anti-hipster playlist this December.
22. Pet Shop Boys "It doesn't often snow at Christmas"
This typically quirky song from the Pet Shop Boys gets to the point from its first lyric: "Christmas is not all it's cracked up to be."
23. Fall Out Boy "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out"
Fall Out Boy's "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out" is both a model for the genre of nontraditional Christmas songs and my personal favorite on the list. That wordplay in the title? Freakin' classic.
24. The Kinks "Father Christmas"
Angry, hilarious, ironic, and full of antithetical enthusiasm for the Christmas season. The Kinks deliver anything one could ever ask for in the ideal alternative Christmas jam.
25. The Lonely Island "D*ck In A Box"
A masterpiece in its own right. While many forget that this track is, in fact, a Christmas song, it's a cultural relic that encompasses the absurdity that is a commercialized and romanticized Christmas in the post-modern era.
