From fertility festivals to Catholic saints to Mafia murders, Valentine's Day has a rich history that just can't be wrapped up in a greeting card. But some people don't get lucky enough to celebrate with flowers and champagne.

Sit back and relax with your sweetie and a heart-shaped box of candy and get ready to learn about some of the not so romantic Valentine's Days that have happened in the past.

1. 1076: Henry IV is excommunicated (for the first time).

What a great Valentine's gift, right? It was the gift that kept on giving too because Henry was eventually excommunicated 5 times! Apparently, none of the Popes could make up their mind on if they wanted to condemn him to Hell or not.

2. 1779: Captain James Cook is killed.

So the first European to visit the Hawaiian Islands didn't have a romantic Valentine's getaway on a tropical island. Instead of celebrating with his wife, Captain Cook thought it would be a great idea to hold a Hawaiian chieftain hostage and ended up paying the price. He ended his Valentine's Day a corpse after being clubbed and stabbed to death by angry islanders.

3. 1803: John Marshall takes a stand.

The Chief Justice of the United States gave a Valentine's gift to Constitutional rights in 1803. He declared that any act passed by Congress or a State that violated the Constitution was automatically void.

4. 1859: Oregon becomes a state.

The people of Oregan had double the cause for celebration on Valentine's Day 1859. Not only were they enjoying flowers and chocolates, but they could now enjoy full citizenship rights and representation.

5. 1876: Alexander Graham Bell applies for the telephone patent.

Who knew the origins of your Valentine's Day booty call began over 140 years ago? Bell managed to file his patent hours before a similar patent was filed by another inventor and forever linked himself to a more easily communicated language of love.

6. 1891: General William T. Sherman dies.

The old Union general took his last breath on the day of love, but he didn't die of a broken heart. Sherman succumbed to pneumonia nearly 27 years after Georgian's buildings were set aflame rather than their hearts.

7. 1912: Arizona becomes a state.

Presidents really seem to like making states on Valentine's Day, huh?

8. 1929: The Valentine's Day Massacre happens.

Al Capone may not have understood the whole concept of sending out Valentine's. Instead of flowers or cards, he sent men with machine guns to take out a few of his closest rivals.

9. 1945: Dresden is bombed by Allied forces.

Hearts weren't the only things aflame in Germany in 1945. British and American bombers attacked the German cultural center near the end of the war, causing the deaths of 130,000 people and the destruction of many priceless treasures.

10. 1962: The Kennedys show off the White House.

As a special Valentine's treat, the Kennedy's gave many Americans their first look at the White House. Camelot's queen dazzled the nation with her knowledge and her poise while in a very befitting red dress.