“How is everything going in Spain?”
When I was asked this at the start of my journey, it was so simple to answer.
“Things are amazing! The city is beautiful, the people are interesting, the classes are great,” and so on. And of course I still believe all these things, but now, when people ask that, those responses only cover the barest surface of my time here.
Yes, the people are still interesting, the city is still incredible (I can’t stop taking photos every time I walk through the plaza at night), and the classes are a great time, but there is so much more.
There is so much more.
And I’ve always been someone who has tried my best to describe every detail and explain everything that’s going on—especially to my closest friends. But I’ve come to the realization that there’s been so many stories and so many experiences that sometimes I have to just give the “surface level” answer. Sometimes, there are just going to be untold stories.
Untold stories are stories that only the people who lived those stories and helped write them will ever understand completely. I can try to retell them to the best of my ability, but there’s some stories that I’ve come to be satisfied with simply keeping to myself and to my memory because that is where they are best preserved, understood and valued.
The other night, I had a random spout of 3 a.m. creativity and wrote down 5 general pieces of wisdom I have learned in my time here—lessons that I can’t explain in any other way but with these words:
- I’ve learned that I LOVE climbing to the highest points of cities just to see it all lit up at night, drinking coffee in buzzing cafes while people-watching, going for runs along the river, hearing peoples’ stories, staying in Airbnb’s with friends, trying a million new tapa places, teaching English, being “that tourist” in foreign cities, living spontaneously, confusing people with my ability to speak Spanish despite my Asian roots and American nationality, and taking advantage of every single moment of this crazy adventure.
- There’s been so many times here that I desperately wanted to stop time just so these moments could live on forever, but I believe that’s part of what makes up true happiness because it doesn’t last forever and so when you feel it, you never forget.
- A goodbye doesn’t have to be a goodbye; it can be a hasta luego (a see you later) just like an “end” doesn’t have to be the ending; it can be the ending of the chapter instead of the ending of the book.
- In life, the highest highs are almost always balanced out with the lowest lows but these incredible highs mean so much and can be so beautiful that they make the lowest lows worth it.
This final one my friend wrote to me and I was shocked at how perfectly it described everything I wanted to express in this article’s title:
5. “There’s a difference between a story and a memory. A memory can be a story. But memories include feelings and unspoken words that can’t be conveyed in retelling that memory. You can tell someone a memory but it almost always is just a story to them.”
This quote from my friend lifted so many weights off my shoulders because it was like a way of legitimizing my hesitation to try and turn all these memories into stories—stories that could never adequately express the moments, the feelings, and the wisdoms gained. But the quote from my friend is like saying it is OK that these untold memories don’t become stories.
So, for all those reading this, I will continue to tell and write the stories I’m gathering here, but there will always be the untold memories that will remain only in my mind and maybe that sounds crazy or even a little sad, but sometimes untold memories are best left as such.
