I know it's only been eight hours since you took your last breath but I already feel like you've been gone for a lot longer than that. I literally feel like my heart is in a million pieces. Just know no other dog will be able to replace you.
I was seven-years-old begging my parents for a chihuahua because for some odd reason I just really wanted one. And lo and behold we decided on you. You were just what I wanted... the cutest little teacup chihuahua there was. You grew up with me through everything... from seven all the way up to 21.
You sure gave me a lot to remember. From being cranky to laying in the summer sun all day, to always finding a blanket to cuddle in... there's so much that reminds me of you. I've lost pets before but none like this... Kiki was there for me the longest and I've dreaded this day for so long.
I truly thought you were going to live forever. Even at 14-years-old, you were still a hyper grandma. You were always there to greet me when I'd come to visit from college, you were always there to lay on my lap while watching TV, you were always there for everything. And I know you could always count on me for giving you belly rubs.
A few months ago is when I really noticed your changes. You were a lot skinnier, your left eye was beginning to shut and you were walking differently. I didn't want to believe your time was coming because last time I saw you, you were the same old Kiki you always have been.
You weren't coming out to greet me anymore and you never wanted to be picked up. It all started to hit me slowly... you were there with me for everything. From the nights we stayed up all night on the couch watching TV in the summer, to car rides to the dog park. You were there for me when mom and dad got divorced, for my first heartbreak... my first everything basically.
I know some people may think "it's just a dog," but you seriously weren't just a dog. You were one of my everything, I loved you and I still love you with everything I have. You are part of the family.
As I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face thinking about all the times I had with you, I'm also thinking that you're not in pain anymore. You're free again, back to your old self probably sunbathing somewhere... although I wish I could be next to you doing so.
I hope you know how much you were loved. I miss your big ears and your sassy personality so much already, Kiki. You'll forever be in my heart until we meet again one day. I already can't wait.