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Unrealistic Job Requirements For Entry Level Positions

Must be blood type O- , At least 3.9 GPA, Nobel Peace Prize winner (will consider nominees)

Lauren Mallen

Apr 05, 2016

University of Arizona

407

Unrealistic Job Requirements For Entry Level Positions

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As a senior graduating in six weeks (internally crying and screaming) I have been hard at work searching for a job to start my career at. Let me tell you searching for a job is no cakewalk. I knew that searching and finding a real world job would be hard but I didn’t realize it would be THIS HARD. I did pretty well in school, had multiple jobs and two internships related to the career I want to pursue but for most jobs that just doesn’t cut it. It seems that every job post I come across says entry level and then lists qualifications asking you to have 20 years of experience and have a bunch of awards and accomplishments when you’re only about 22 years old. I don’t know about you other seniors but to me all the job postings for entry level positions require qualifications that look a lot like this…

Qualifications:

1. New college grad

2. 7-10 years experience

3. One year at PR agency

4. One year at start up

5. One year in restaurant

6. One year in retail

7. Must be blood type O-

8. At least 3.9 GPA

9. Nobel Peace Prize winner (will consider nominees)

What I actually have:

1. Triple major: must have at least Astronomy and Graphic Design

2. Have traveled to all 50 states (will consider only 48 states)

3. Volunteered as tribute for Hunger Games

4. Graduated from a top university

5. Have a Masters in different area than which you majored in

6. Olympic medalist (gold preferred)

7. Must do community service at least 15 hours a week

8. Must speak at least two languages, Hindi and Portuguese a plus

9. Must know how to do yo-yo tricks

10. Microsoft Office experience

11. Be able to type 1000 wpm

12. Familiar with QOZ, LTY and WVC

13. Must have climbed Mt. Everest

14. Must have low salary expectations

15. Must play at least one musical instrument

16. Started your own non-profit

17. Have won Survivor

18. Wear glasses but have 20/20 vision

19. Must have won a food eating contest

20. Must be analytical

21. Must work well with team

22. Must be easy to train

23. Must be independent

24. Must be funny

25. Must have pilot license

26. Will accept muggles, but prefer wizards

27. Link to portfolio with 10 years of work required

*Do not apply if you do not have any of these skills*

Good luck to all my fellow 2016 graduates that are still on the hunt for a job, you will actually meet the requirements one day!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Unrealistic Job Requirements For Entry Level Positions

Must be blood type O- , At least 3.9 GPA, Nobel Peace Prize winner (will consider nominees)

Qualifications:

1. New college grad

2. 7-10 years experience

3. One year at PR agency

4. One year at start up

5. One year in restaurant

6. One year in retail

7. Must be blood type O-

8. At least 3.9 GPA

9. Nobel Peace Prize winner (will consider nominees)

What I actually have:

1. Triple major: must have at least Astronomy and Graphic Design

2. Have traveled to all 50 states (will consider only 48 states)

3. Volunteered as tribute for Hunger Games

4. Graduated from a top university

5. Have a Masters in different area than which you majored in

6. Olympic medalist (gold preferred)

7. Must do community service at least 15 hours a week

8. Must speak at least two languages, Hindi and Portuguese a plus

9. Must know how to do yo-yo tricks

10. Microsoft Office experience

11. Be able to type 1000 wpm

12. Familiar with QOZ, LTY and WVC

13. Must have climbed Mt. Everest

14. Must have low salary expectations

15. Must play at least one musical instrument

16. Started your own non-profit

17. Have won Survivor

18. Wear glasses but have 20/20 vision

19. Must have won a food eating contest

20. Must be analytical

21. Must work well with team

22. Must be easy to train

23. Must be independent

24. Must be funny

25. Must have pilot license

26. Will accept muggles, but prefer wizards

27. Link to portfolio with 10 years of work required

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There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

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