Unrealistic Job Requirements For Entry Level Positions
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Politics and Activism

Unrealistic Job Requirements For Entry Level Positions

Must be blood type O- , At least 3.9 GPA, Nobel Peace Prize winner (will consider nominees)

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Unrealistic Job Requirements For Entry Level Positions
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As a senior graduating in six weeks (internally crying and screaming) I have been hard at work searching for a job to start my career at. Let me tell you searching for a job is no cakewalk. I knew that searching and finding a real world job would be hard but I didn’t realize it would be THIS HARD. I did pretty well in school, had multiple jobs and two internships related to the career I want to pursue but for most jobs that just doesn’t cut it. It seems that every job post I come across says entry level and then lists qualifications asking you to have 20 years of experience and have a bunch of awards and accomplishments when you’re only about 22 years old. I don’t know about you other seniors but to me all the job postings for entry level positions require qualifications that look a lot like this…


Qualifications:

1. New college grad

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F6359533994657211321242545003_200-8.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=46&h=9f3c3c203642300c7f33f80e0e1a58289b89b0ff4ea96555e0902cc13aa0af49&size=980x&c=2222895560 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F6359533994657211321242545003_200-8.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D46%26h%3D9f3c3c203642300c7f33f80e0e1a58289b89b0ff4ea96555e0902cc13aa0af49%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2222895560%22%7D" expand=1]

2. 7-10 years experience

3. One year at PR agency

4. One year at start up

5. One year in restaurant

6. One year in retail

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953386639113161429463281_200-1.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=557&h=4e1e1a61f4e8791f80f40e45af28d27bf5653dc3c24c2dd407a97af5a01c79f4&size=980x&c=214537228 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953386639113161429463281_200-1.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D557%26h%3D4e1e1a61f4e8791f80f40e45af28d27bf5653dc3c24c2dd407a97af5a01c79f4%26size%3D980x%26c%3D214537228%22%7D" expand=1]

7. Must be blood type O-

8. At least 3.9 GPA

9. Nobel Peace Prize winner (will consider nominees)

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953389002110996-1865651942_200-2.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=131&h=f6e33859cd6854b56cc04b640dc5c2ba67d50b3ef516e9632ef08e7b55c9cb58&size=980x&c=1518785452 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953389002110996-1865651942_200-2.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D131%26h%3Df6e33859cd6854b56cc04b640dc5c2ba67d50b3ef516e9632ef08e7b55c9cb58%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1518785452%22%7D" expand=1]

What I actually have:

1. Triple major: must have at least Astronomy and Graphic Design

2. Have traveled to all 50 states (will consider only 48 states)

3. Volunteered as tribute for Hunger Games

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953398751304764-1245670919_200-7.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=410&h=f94d0dd5a48d9d1cb3ccbe9f5db48682a1e7343b5448f3356ce69a2b82276fe0&size=980x&c=1050759545 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953398751304764-1245670919_200-7.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D410%26h%3Df94d0dd5a48d9d1cb3ccbe9f5db48682a1e7343b5448f3356ce69a2b82276fe0%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1050759545%22%7D" expand=1]

4. Graduated from a top university

5. Have a Masters in different area than which you majored in

6. Olympic medalist (gold preferred)

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F6359533980934322571885425385_200-6.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=774&h=8e3ca1006d09144e6ce4802eb2b9d47daf2f0594bed2be1d6bebba0e778074ad&size=980x&c=2985141501 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F6359533980934322571885425385_200-6.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D774%26h%3D8e3ca1006d09144e6ce4802eb2b9d47daf2f0594bed2be1d6bebba0e778074ad%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2985141501%22%7D" expand=1]

7. Must do community service at least 15 hours a week

8. Must speak at least two languages, Hindi and Portuguese a plus

9. Must know how to do yo-yo tricks

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F6359533901898582101678199172_giphy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=41&h=5179d4e3aec9ddc03cf08f0723f0184d9b8a046127fd97d2ff1d77c7da445b7e&size=980x&c=4094507951 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F6359533901898582101678199172_giphy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D41%26h%3D5179d4e3aec9ddc03cf08f0723f0184d9b8a046127fd97d2ff1d77c7da445b7e%26size%3D980x%26c%3D4094507951%22%7D" expand=1]

10. Microsoft Office experience

11. Be able to type 1000 wpm

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953386348691692-1413173822_200-2.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=488&h=c785c59ef77a43adc631c9a2b5591ee3be8a43915cc16097f4505c566bc099b2&size=980x&c=2160401497 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953386348691692-1413173822_200-2.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D488%26h%3Dc785c59ef77a43adc631c9a2b5591ee3be8a43915cc16097f4505c566bc099b2%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2160401497%22%7D" expand=1]

12. Familiar with QOZ, LTY and WVC

13. Must have climbed Mt. Everest

14. Must have low salary expectations[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953400519273302300769082_200-9.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=950&h=b5930f66bae1bed366f9bf54afa3edce45dc84ca02d7584ed0fc51838b50f42f&size=980x&c=1798128761 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953400519273302300769082_200-9.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D950%26h%3Db5930f66bae1bed366f9bf54afa3edce45dc84ca02d7584ed0fc51838b50f42f%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1798128761%22%7D" expand=1]

15. Must play at least one musical instrument

16. Started your own non-profit

17. Have won Survivor

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F6359533937312455011986547676_200%25208.50.40%2520PM.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=260&h=01e959583f9a2b55672180bb175efae528e200b7521cf726a5f6b86fc71019dd&size=980x&c=2879633410 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F6359533937312455011986547676_200%2525208.50.40%252520PM.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D260%26h%3D01e959583f9a2b55672180bb175efae528e200b7521cf726a5f6b86fc71019dd%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2879633410%22%7D" expand=1]

18. Wear glasses but have 20/20 vision

19. Must have won a food eating contest

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F6359533916291930471457869670_200-5.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=239&h=517752c8ddd6ed6916b27ae2259b31d8973f0f92a6e156fbc8b5a8e05b84463b&size=980x&c=3703830278 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F6359533916291930471457869670_200-5.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D239%26h%3D517752c8ddd6ed6916b27ae2259b31d8973f0f92a6e156fbc8b5a8e05b84463b%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3703830278%22%7D" expand=1]

20. Must be analytical

21. Must work well with team

22. Must be easy to train

23. Must be independent

24. Must be funny

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953390811592348-1137126209_200-3.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=233&h=89dbe91d717472c5596064ec5ecc955ab63aaca01002cd5914bd4d76af4efba5&size=980x&c=4157276998 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953390811592348-1137126209_200-3.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D233%26h%3D89dbe91d717472c5596064ec5ecc955ab63aaca01002cd5914bd4d76af4efba5%26size%3D980x%26c%3D4157276998%22%7D" expand=1]

25. Must have pilot license

26. Will accept muggles, but prefer wizards

27. Link to portfolio with 10 years of work required

*Do not apply if you do not have any of these skills*

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F04%2F04%2F635953402979313861-1930460277_200.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=513&h=55d5c9198e7fd96a33f8f66fd3d75a772e14c9208fc378b184186821e20dfba6&size=980x&c=1047005043 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F04%252F04%252F635953402979313861-1930460277_200.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D513%26h%3D55d5c9198e7fd96a33f8f66fd3d75a772e14c9208fc378b184186821e20dfba6%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1047005043%22%7D" expand=1]

Good luck to all my fellow 2016 graduates that are still on the hunt for a job, you will actually meet the requirements one day!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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