Now that it’s finally December, I can start thinking about Christmas 24/7 and not one person can judge me. I’ll take the judgement when it’s November 1st and I break out the Justin Bieber and Mariah Carey Christmas albums. And, I’ll even give my full undivided attention to Thanksgiving and wait for Black Friday deals for the actual Black Friday. However, it’s December now and once the Trader Joe’s Chocolate Christmas Countdown has begun, there is no turning back.

I’ve been thinking back to my childhood years a lot lately, and am surprised by how much the meaning of the holiday has changed for me. When I was younger, it was 60% about the gifts, 20% about Christmas break, and 20% about spending time with family and celebrating Jesus’ birthday with them at mass. Now, the numbers have flipped: 60% about spending time with family, 20% about the gifts (giving them, too), and 20% about Christmas break. I have seen this change in a few ways, but one obvious one has been through the making of Christmas lists.

When I was young and didn’t understand the value of a dollar, I’d have every Apple product, a car, a phone, a TV, and other expensive toys on my lists. I probably asked for close to a million dollars in gifts. I have vivid memories of going through toy catalogs and literally writing down the name of hundreds of products on looseleaf paper. I probably didn’t even really want half the things on there. Then, I got older and started asking for more practical things. I wanted a Northface jacket, an iPod touch, and Vera Bradley bags; all things I genuinely wanted and waited for Christmas to come around to ask for them. Now, because Christmas is less focused on gifts, I have had the hardest time coming up with a Christmas list. It’s like I am 8 years old again and my whole list is unrealistic, but this time I understand that they aren’t possible gifts. However, I have finally put together a Christmas list, including all unrealistic things, just in case God wants to gift me with some of these things anyways. Because I won’t say “no” if He does.

1. The ability to rap

I was “rapping” the other day and a friend just laughed at me. I just want to impress someone with my talents. Even just one song. Preferably something by Chance or Kanye.

2. The perfect pair of shoes

I don’t have a specific pair in mind, they just need to be perfect. They would match everything. They would be comfortable. They would come in my size. They could be dressed down or be fancy. They would not be $500.

3. My book to be published

First, I need an idea for a book. Then, I need to write it. Then, it needs to be published. I’m not sure how long that whole process usually takes, but three weeks should be enough (so that its printed by Christmas), right?

4. This one specific mosquito sweatshirt

I had this sweatshirt when I was about five years old. It was so cute. Literally the cutest sweatshirt. It had three mosquitoes on it. However, it was blue and I was a brat because blue is a boy's color and I never wore it. And now I have major regrets. If I had it now, I would wear it daily.

5. A pink BIC mechanical pencil with unlimited lead

I feel like I’m in seventh grade again, getting involved in the underground St. Tars black market where mechanical pencil lead was a HOT item. You could literally never have enough lead. And that is still true! My favorite color pencil always runs out of lead so quickly and then I have to use other color pencils, which I swear have more lead in them.

My list is a little unrealistic and I understand that. Christmas isn’t all about getting gifts either, so please share your lists with me! I’m asking for the ability to pick out the perfect gift for everyone I love for my birthday, so I’ll need a little help with gifts until then.