Someone always has to be the bearer of bad news when it comes to reality, and the complexity of the human mind. Someone has to step in and put a blockage on the immediate issues that are clogging the relationships forming nowadays. Someone has to take the first step is going against the popular opinion. So this is the unpopular one.
Too many times when your dating someone do you overthink. Are they lying, cheating, getting me that LV bag for my birthday, are they going to propose, are they where they say they are. All those questions are human nature to run through someone's head. What I am going to talk about is the fact that, girls especially (and some guys I am sure too) have the tendency to think that their feeling expression, that their change of perspective or that their hurt will change the way that someone reacts to them. That you can change the way that they go about their life with you. New flash: you can't. You will never be able to. If you try and talk someone out of their own head, it might work temporarily, but after time goes by, they are going to miss the person that they were before stepped in, and they are going to end up resenting you for talking them out of themselves.
Everyone is on their own time clock, what someone feels, or does, is on them. I am going to get more specific as I talk about the relationships that seemingly go wrong because of miscommunication and the reactions that people give when they don't hear something that they want to hear. When I say everyone is on their own time clock, I mean that as much as you love someone, and maybe you live with them, maybe you're married, whoever that person is, is still their own person with their own goals and dreams. Some of which you might not be apart of. Some of which doesn't include you at all, because they want their own happiness and they're own success, and as we all know, those things come from you.
Where I am going with this, is that what someone does in a relationship, that is their choice. If they lie, if they cheat, if they screw up. They made those choices, on their own time. Those choices weren't made in the eyes of hurt, they were made in the eyes of the thrill, or the scandal. They were made to make that person feel something that they hadn't felt before. No matter what it meant for the person waiting for them at home. Prevention control is useless, the more you try and prevent something, the worse it will become. When someone does anything in a relationship, they were going to do it anyway, with or without you. Monogamy is an entirely different topic, but cheating and lying all come from a place within that person that is attached to their character. It is attached to their need to feel someone else, feel something different about themselves and explore new emotions. What someone does in a relationship, it out of your control, as much as you think that it's not, it is.
My point is, let people be themselves and understand that people make choices in relationships based on different reasons, some of which never include the person that they would hurt in the process. Now I'm not saying you can't feel mad, but I am saying that next time something happens where you know that it wasn't a good idea, just understand you, or them, did it out of their own free will, not the right or wrong that they so desperatley want answers too.
