A local's guide to navigating the cities.

1. For The Love of All Humanity, Please Don’t Loiter At Green Lights

If you find yourself in the fortunate position of being first to go at an intersection, do those of us in the back a favor and floor it. Every second you waste dawdling at a clear intersection pushes us that much closer to having to sit through light cycle a second or third time.

2. If A Local Waits A While At A Left-Hand Turn, Trust Them.

Don't just jump the concrete median because you think we're taking too long. Left-hand turns are notoriously precarious, and we're used to the weird nuances of traffic in our area. A few seconds of extra time at a turn is a lot quicker than a hospital stay after a t-bone car accident.

3. Roll Down Your Window And Give Lost Drivers Directions...

But not for three city blocks. When you and your lost protégé occupy the only two straight-through lanes, it reduces space for green light flooring, and if it's within 50 miles of a tunnel, it could potentially disrupt the flow of traffic in multiple cities. Toss them your cell phone charger if you must, but don't keep holding up traffic.

4. Don't Drive Slower In The HOV Lane Than You Would In The Regular Lane.

If the speed limit is 65 mph and people in the 55 mph zone are passing us, something is wrong. Drive slower than that if you want to (although I don't know why you'd be in the HOV to start with), but please don't match speeds with another slow driver in the only available passing lane. Say it with me: staggered slowness saves sanity.

5. The Police Won't Give You A Ticket For Driving The Speed Limit.

Driving slower than the speed limit simply because the police are on the road too just makes you look like you have weed in the backseat or kidnapped someone. Own that speed limit like the law-abiding citizen you are, unless you're in Alaska, Colorado, Oregon or Washington; in that case, feel free to speed with weed. It's legal there (no, not that way).