Ever feel like the world is completely against you? That the sheer essence of all that is the Universe will make sure things never go your way? That no matter what you do, someone or some event will push you back to wherever you were before? Let’s think of some of the universal “fuck you” signs that can be sent to you for free.

The Universe is not your friend. It will do whatever to solidify the fact that you live in a low-rating sitcom that no one watches. Picture yourself walking in the pouring rain after your significant other has broken up with you. A.) You forgot that it was going to rain so, therefore, you did not bring an umbrella and B.) You thought you would live happily ever after. So as you’re walking down the road as the Universe is crying (raining) simply to mock you, you’d think that this would be it. Wel,l odds are, some jabroni in a pick-up truck and an abundance of political bumper-stickers, to let everyone know who he voted for (nobody cares), will drive in a puddle next you as you realize you’ll never be loved again and be covered in enough water to give Splish Splash a run for its money.

Here are some more fun ones: On a cold, bleak morning you wake up late, get dressed in a frenzy, and accidentally shave off most of your facial hair, and once you finally get in the car and start driving, you spill coffee all over your groin (making you weep like a little girl as hot lava brings great pain). You go on a date and your Ex is in the same restaurant. You realize that Avenged Sevenfold is not as good as you used to think they were.

You might ask why I went so in depth there… That maybe that I’m speaking from personal experience, but I’m not. That’s there to fill up space and waste yours and my time. See, the Universe doesn’t care at all.

You have dreams? Well, the universe will probably crush those for you by sophomore year of high school. It's tough to be a tap dancer in a world of dirty dancing. Had actual faith in a political candidate? They’re just a great actor, they don’t care. It is neither your enemy nor your friend. It is simply just there. Was your little fancy Cappucino Macchiato Americano not to your liking? The Universe has no time for your tears or declaration of vengeance against a neglectful Barista!

While sometimes I read those “everything will be alright” good vibes on desks and across social media platforms and feel comfort, they just don’t help all the time. You need to realize that sometimes you have to decide your own fate because being passive and allowing the Universe to do what it’s going to do may not be enough. I’m starting to realize this after 20 years of life. I have been passive for way too much of my life.

Now I’m not doubting the idea that sometimes odd things do happen by chance, but perhaps basing your life around passive chance is not necessarily the right choice. The Universe is a cruel, yet passive beast. You have to decide your own fate.