As I’m sitting here procrastinating over yet another paper, I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness as this will be my last undergrad paper ever. No, it’s not a topic I’m passionate about but it’s my last one. Hopefully it’s the last time I will ever have to worry about in-text citations and MLA format. I don’t have any plans for grad school in the near future, so this could quite possibly be the last academic paper I ever write. Crazy, right?
As many times as I have said “I hate school,” I still know I’ll miss it. I’ll miss knowing that for nine months, I have a place to be and the other three months I get to be somewhere else. I’ll miss the structure, the fun and the laid back atmosphere. I’m not a school person though. I don’t do well with socializing in an educational setting -- never was in grade school and never have been in college. So for the most part, I think the “real world” will be a good change of pace for me.
But what about everything I have learned in the past few years? Coming into college, I was shy and unbearably introverted. But now, I am a new person. I’m still introverted, but I have learned how to go for things and put myself out there. I try new things, meet new people and give the world second chances on a regular basis. I have learned that I am strong and can handle an unbearable amount of stress. Granted, me handling stress usually involves many tears, but I can still do it.
I have also learned how to talk to new people. I went on a total of -1 dates in high school, but in college I have learned how to go on first dates and just see where it goes. I used to be afraid of whether a guy would really like or not, so I never put myself out there. Now I just go with it. I’ve learned how have conversations with people I hardly know. Now before I get ahead of myself, I am still no social butterfly. I am still awkward as hell, but I embrace it now! I’m a goofball and I am proud.
In college, I didn’t find myself like people so often say. Instead, I uncovered myself. I had been hiding behind a façade of how I thought I should act for so long and in college I discovered I didn’t have to hide. We all have a unique identity and there is no reason why anyone should be ashamed of who they are. College is not a time to find yourself, it is a time to embrace everything you are.
If you come into college with the expectation that you will be transformed and leave a different person, then you will be sorely disappointed. Expect change, but don’t expect a transformation because you have always been strong and independent. You have always been the same person, but you will leave college more confident in who you truly are.
I am intimidated by what the future holds, but I am so ready to embark on this life of mine with my new-found confidence and sense of self.
