Most people think that they should have a romantic relationship that incorporates unconditional love, but that may not be possible.
Unconditional love means you care deeply and intimately for someone no matter what they do. But this notion is dependent on whether or not you have full control over your emotions.
People feel how they feel.
To believe that you will have the same intensity of emotion with no respect to your significant other's possible negative behaviors seems unrealistic. People can hurt you in ways that you may not even fathom. It may be difficult to maintain that energy when someone makes a mistake.
Now it is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that everyone, including you, is flawed to some extent.
Perfect does not exist, but it is also important to believe that people can be forgiven, especially when you hope others will forgive you when you falter.
However, not everyone makes the same mistakes. Some mistakes can be grave mistakes and just because you forgive someone, does not mean that a piece of the connection you had before did not chip away. It does not mean that everything is completely back to normal, as relationships are often not.
Having a relationship with unconditional love means that you and your significant other may need to be more than human. That you must maintain a certain expectation at all times. That your love must never waver.
Just because your relationship may not acquire unconditional love does not mean your relationship is unhealthy or not real.
If anything, your relationship is very much real. What you may have, or what you may form, is authentic.
How do you grow as a couple, when there is nothing to grow from?
Everyone has to accept that the construct of love is vague, confusing, and different from person to person. Love is conditional.
Conditional love means that as much as you commit to the relationship, you hope your significant other does too, with notion of not knowing for certain.
Conditional love means that if your significant other falters slightly or has a rough day, you continue to support them and help them.
Conditional love means that you hold yourself, your significant other, and your relationship as a whole accountable.
Conditional love means that you and your significant other are humans, and as humans you feel a range of emotions.
Conditional love means that you hope for the best, but the best is not guaranteed.
Some people may believe that they have unconditional love, because of how they generally feel towards their significant other, and because of the history and experiences they have both gone through together. But no one can predict the future. No one can predict the unexpected.
People may not change at the same rate, and they may not even notice the changes when they happen. But change inevitably happens.
Maybe if love was clearly defined in a way that everyone accepts and that it happened to be the same for everyone in every case, then maybe love could be unconditional.
But it is not the same, and everyone is not the same.
Don't worry, though, conditional love is still amazing.