This is your uncle. You know your uncle. This is that man. The man you know by his quick wit is here.

Your uncle gives you gifts that you use to catch rats. You do not question your uncle, who is pictured above. Your uncle will give you pence in return for rats. The man who receives rats is your uncle.

When you go on vacation, your uncle wishes he was there and not you. Your uncle enjoys being places where he does not belong. Your uncle lives underneath a go-kart track.

Your uncle enjoys the simple delights. He wears sandals when he goes to the beach which is the place where fish go to die. He is your uncle.

Your grandparent believes your uncle is up to no good. Your uncle must vanquish the naysayers.

Your uncle believes that "Beyond The Thunderdome" is the best film in the Mad Max series. Your uncle appreciates Mel Gibson's acting chops while turning a blind eye to his racist chops. Your uncle appreciates chops of many kinds.

You understand not why your uncle's hair never grows. You do not ask your uncle questions. He lets you watch "M*A*S*H" on DVD in return for your silence.You never ask the reason why his hair always stays in the same place.

Your uncle has children that you are supposed to call cousins. Your uncle feeds them corn on the cob at barbecues. You are only allowed to see the children that are called cousins at Christmas when your uncle gives you rat traps.

Your uncle does these things to you because you are a member of the "family." The "family" comes first to your uncle. You do not ever visit your uncle's place of residence. Your uncle expects more from you.

This man is him. This man is your uncle.

Your uncle pours cement in order to gain dollars. He uses dollars to buy supplies to make traps for rats. When he is not using his cement dollars to contribute to the extinction of rats, he is listening to the Brian Setzer Orchestra. Your uncle has no idea that you are about to publicize his personal life on social media. He is your uncle.

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