Hopefully, this story makes you laugh whether or not you have a valentine come February 14. If you don’t have a valentine, do not lose hope, you may be surprised by a secret admirer. If not, then there’s always cat videos and ice cream.

1) The “What day is it even?” Valentine’s Day

This person is single as a Pringle and ignores the day completely. He or she stays in and most likely keeps busy to distract themselves from the fact that it is Valentine’s Day. Looking at social media is a big no-no on this day. All those icky couples and whining singles, you just couldn’t. You do not need a reminder of your singularity. February 14 is a regular day, just like every other. You don’t see the difference or significance, and you couldn’t care less. What is a Valentine’s Day???


2) The Sweet Surprise Valentine’s Day

This person may be single or just talking and hanging out

with one person, nothing truly official. He or she is not expecting anything of

this day at all, when all of a sudden, plot twist! A secret admirer or the

person they have been talking to comes out of nowhere showering them with

gifts, which makes them super happy, of course. What was supposed to be a

crappy, low-key type of day turns out to be pretty sweet!


3) The Salty Valentine’s Day

This person is single, and NOT by choice, especially not

on a day like this. This is the ultimate hater of anything Valentine’s Day

related if you’ve ever seen one. He or she is sickened by the sight of all the couples

posted on social media, and they are not afraid to let the world know it. This

person will most likely post something like a blank picture with the caption: “So

thankful for bae and these gifts.” This person may or may not be found in local

stores purchasing candy and a bear for him or herself because someone is going

to treat them, even if it’s them self. They refuse to be left of out!

4

) The Okay Valentine’s Day

This day is simple. Your friends or your mom get you some flowers, candy, or something or simply tell you “Happy Valentine’s Day.” Also, your pet may be especially nice to you and cuddle with you. So your existence is not completely ignored. You are acknowledged, just not by a significant other.


5) The Ruined Valentine’s Day

This is that drama series, TMZ, gossip-magazine-type Valentine’s Day. Either someone gets caught up with multiple individuals (like that guy who had multiple girls post him as their valentine last year) or it ends badly for someone who expects be treated. This person may or may not be in a relationship, but either way they are super sure that they will be treated to something on Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, instead of cards and flowers, they end up getting a broken heart.


6) The Lovey-Dovey Valentine’s Day

This is the Beta package of all Valentines Days. These people

are in a relationship, whether they have been married for years or dating for a

couple years. These couples remind you of the ones you see in movies. Their gifts

to each other are perfect and sometimes there is even a long, emotional note

expressing their love for their significant other. This is the Valentine’s Day

filled with flowers, candy, flower petals, candles, cards, jewelry, nice

dinners, and even surprise engagements. Nothing is higher than the Beta Package

Valentine’s Day. It is the one everyone desires, the one where everything goes

right, the one that make those of us who are single peanut butter and jealous.

Many tears of the-adorableness-is-too-much are shed with this type of Valentine’s

Day.