Well, seeing that all of you Santa-crazed people couldn't wait for Thanksgiving to end so y'all could finally break out the lights and inflatable snowmen, and are now eagerly waiting for the coming of the red and white clad man himself, I've got the perfect thing for the lot of you this week. You see, there's this little thing known as patience, something I know quite a few of you really lack when it comes to this holiday. So, just as a way of helping out in the name of the season, here are a few things you can do for each day of December up until Christmas.
Dec. 1: Fully acknowledge the holiday for what it is and begin to partake in all the pre-Christmas festivities that apply. Put up the tree, tack on the ornaments, etc.
Dec. 2: The only appropriate time to start blasting Christmas music in your dorm at midnight.
Dec. 3: With the little tree already put up, head out and go shopping for the gifts you'll be giving to those you love.
Dec. 4: Retreat to your room and have a good long cry as you begin to realize the harsh reality that you are still a college student and are still broke, and any dreams you once had of buying presents for your family and friends are null and void.
Dec. 5: After your day-long cry, go out and have yourself a little stroll around the campus. Do it at night so you can see all of the nifty Christmas lights and other exterior decorations.
Dec. 6: Go to Home Depot or Lowes and gaze at all of the lights you wish you could buy to decorate your dorm, but can't because of money.
Dec. 7: Hate bake all of the gingerbread cookies you can manage and consume as much eggnog as you possibly can in order to drown your sorrows.
Dec. 8: Start receiving fruit cakes and other holiday-appropriate gifts from family members outside of where you live.
Dec. 9: Partake in eating said gifts because you've already devoured all of the cookies you hate-baked and have nothing else in the refrigerator to eat.
Dec. 10: Invite friends over to your dorm for one final hurrah before everyone heads home for the break, then rush to clean it because, for the past nine days, it's been looking like something out of Hoarders.
Dec. 11: Have nice long chats with family members so you can focus on something other than the grief-ridden catastrophe that is your existence. It's also a good way to get on their good side for when you come home and need something.
Dec. 12: Burst into random spurts of song and dance all throughout the day, because you're finally heading home where the food is plenty and the money is endless... and have nothing better to do.
Dec. 13: Hug and kiss your parents and thank them for rescuing you from your first semester of college and poverty.
Dec. 14: With money now in your pocket, make another plan for what you're going to do when you shop for your friends and family.
Dec. 15: Brave the hoards of cars and present-hungry people as you all fight for whatever has the best deal.
Dec. 16: Take a break from it all and go see Star Wars: Rogue One in theaters (It's gonna be good!)
Dec. 17: Visit your old high school and gloat to all of the poor saps that are still stuck over there taking finals while you're free to do whatever you want!
Dec. 18: (Only if there's snow) Go outside and build yourself an army of snowmen. Defend your home from the invading armies of the South Pole.
Dec. 19: Spend the day inside and just relax. Write a chapter or two in your novel, call friends, etc.
Dec. 20: Jump around in circles and squeal like a school girl as there are only five days left until Christmas.
Dec. 21: Anticipate and join (if you're up to it) the carolers that come around your neighborhood.
Dec. 22: Start helping out in the kitchen, as Christmas Eve is only just a few days away and the Christmas feast still needs to be prepared
Dec. 23: Revel in all of the food you know you're going to eat as soon as Christmas Eve comes along.
Dec. 24: Cherish each moment you spend with your family. Watch Christmas films, the traditional Charlie Brown episode, play games, and fill your face with food as if this is the last Christmas you're ever going to be celebrating.
Dec. 25. Wake up from your slumber at 4 AM, proceed to awaken your parents, and go see all of the gifts that Santa left for you this year. And as you all partake in opening your gifts, making one another laugh and cry with joy, remember that while a day like this only comes once a year, the memories of it, as well as the relationships that have been strengthened during it, will last forever.
