'Twas the night before Christmas, when Buddy the Elf
Walked into a frat party, all by himself
“It’s like Santa’s workshop but smells so bad”
Macaulay Culkin danced over, what a day he'd had
"Why are you here? Who are you?"
"Buddy the Elf. What's your favorite color?"
"Blue...
Which guys do you know here. Can you name five?”
“Dasher, Dancer, Pran…Is that guy alive?”
“This is my house. I have to defend it.”
“But I’ve had a good night. I don’t want to end it”
“Go away, stranger. Or I’ll give you fear.
I made my whole family disappear.”
President Ralphie came with a double dog dare
For Culkin to give the pledges a scare
Ralph let Buddy stay if he lent him a hand
With putting the leg lamp upon the stand.
Buddy helped then got something to drink
He got fruit punch, or so did he think.
Then in came the pledges, all freaking out
George yelled, “I’m going to jail without a doubt”
“Son of a nutcracker! What did you do!”
Buddy exclaimed, taking a sip or two.
“This isn’t punch! This, I despise!
You all sit on a throne of lies!”
“Oh good grief,” sighed Charlie Brown.
“Don’t drink more
if you aren’t down."
But he whipped out his syrup and poured it in
Then he couldn't even taste the gin.
Charlie Brown said "I’m in bad shape.
But I got lucky since I escaped.
Culkin said throw
rocks at the Granville house
We did, then we were quiet as a mouse.
But Rudolph’s nose wouldn’t stop making noise
So we ran away, me and the boys.
The Grinch got caught, but that’s okay.
He kills my buzz anyway.”
“Oh fudge!” exclaimed Ralphie but that wasn’t the word.
He said “F---” and flipped Culkin the bird.
He said it was all over and that he was dead,
“I, President, will be blamed since I’m the head.
What would it be?...Hanging? The chair?"
Then in ran the Grinch with snow in his hair,
"We're gonna die! We're all gonna die!
I'm going to throw up, and then just die!"
"Cotton-headed ninny-muggins. Why am I here?"
Buddy yelled as he ran out with fear.
What a crazy night! Nothing like before,
Almost as fun as the candy store.
He had a bad headache, and he was concerned
To Chi Mu Alpha Sig (XMAS), he would never return.
