Ever since I was a small child, I have been dying to grow up. I looked at "growing up" as becoming like the girls in the movies. Those girls had it all — boyfriends, parties, beauty — every ten-year-old's dream, right? Little did I know that growing up wasn't actually as fun as I thought it would be.
It all starts out okay. You begin making new friends and going out more. Spending a little less time with your family starts to become accepted. Of course it's fine, you're just growing up. Being grown up entitles you to spend most of your hours with your friends, chasing the hearts of silly boys who you know aren't worth your time and wondering where the next party is. It becomes a routine.
This routine gets old, though. Your "friends" start to let you down and there's really nothing to fill the empty void in your heart where things like church, family and charity should be. Where have those things gone? Suddenly, you realize you've traded many aspects of your life, which have brought you the purest happiness, in exchange for the cheap thrills.
Would the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed ten-year-old that you once were be proud of this new self? After trying to grow up for so long, you are finally there. How does it feel? For me, the answer was "not enough." I didn't feel enough of anything. Enough sadness, enough happiness, enough anger — I felt cold-hearted and empty. Everything that I had witnessed and been through in this new life had made me immune to feeling. Isn't that what our generation advertises? Not feeling is "in." If you feel, you will get hurt. If you get hurt, the little happiness that you still have will be taken away. What a price to pay to feel something. The ones who give it a try are labeled dumb and naive. Would you too, make the mistake of feeling?
In the process of trying to grow up, you have lost yourself. All the things that made you who you were are slowly fading, new traits being acquired day by day. Instead of growing up, you have become someone else. This person is a stranger to your family and to the little girl you once were. Where did that little girl go? I sure do miss her.
The definition of "growing up" has been drastically altered by our society. We have associated it with staying out late, partying and separating from our parents. The truth is, growing up is much more. It means making yourself a more kind and compassionate person, loving God and your family as yourself and making better decisions everyday, always improving your character and living through a kinder soul. Maybe, instead of trying to change, we should be more like that ten-year-old girl with light in her eyes and curiosity in her smile; the one who loves wholeheartedly, laughs like a child and appreciates the world as it is.
