The Truth About Interracial Relationships In 2018
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Truth About Interracial Relationships In 2018

The good, the bad, and the ugly - and what you can do about it.

2891
The Truth About Interracial Relationships In 2018
UnSplash

It is now 2018. A mere 18 years since Alabama removed the anti-miscegenation law from its books.

ONLY 18 years.

This means that technically it was illegal to be in an interracial relationship until the year 2000 under Alabama law.

A common idea throughout American society is that interracial relationships are generally accepted and that prejudice doesn't really exist anymore.

This is a LIE.

I am a white woman married to a black man. I have been called tainted, damaged goods, and "niggums girl" to my face. We have been victims of side glances and glares, and it is automatically assumed our restaurant bills are "separate." These are things that same-race couples do not have to worry about.

I am not saying that these things happen daily, but they happen often.

Racism is wild and rampant in our society today. It is shocking how sneaky and normalized racial discrimination has become. Despite the fact that interracial relationships are on the rise (one out of every eight marriages according to Dailyhistory.org), they are still seen as "different."

Gina Escandon, associate Editor at Her Campus , described it as “Race will continually be injected into their relationship because society will put a big red stamp on their foreheads that reads, 'This is different.'”

I could not have said it better myself.

What are the key differences between interracial relationships and the latter?

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: Racism

First of all, I am a white woman married to a black man. Most of the time when people think of racism and discrimination against interracial couples they think of little old grandparents and the common excuse is "they are old" or "it's just how they were raised." Whatever. We get it; you’re justifying.

But what about the black women that glare at us, viewing my husband as a ‘"sellout" and me as stealing "their" man? What about our parents? I guarantee that no parent envisions their grandchildren as mixed kids. They are either beautiful black babies, with big brown eyes and curly hair, or blonde-haired and blue-eyed.

When I told my parents that I was dating a black man, they automatically assumed it was a "phase" and that I would grow out of it. Eventually, they fell in love with him, just like I did, and he became part of the family. Now my parents adore him. But this is a hurdle we would never have had to jump had we been the same color.

You are conscious of your appearance - constantly

Things that are different or against social norms have a tendency to make people feel uncomfortable. When people are uncomfortable, they stare. I constantly wonder if there is something wrong with my outfit or if I smeared my eyeliner - but nine times out of ten it is because I am a young white woman on the arm of a black man.

The Stereotypes

People assume that because you are in an interracial relationship that you ONLY date people outside your race. However, this is (in most cases) a load of crap. The majority of people who end up in interracial relationships just happen to end up there. I had never dated a black man before my husband, and honestly, I never planned on dating him. We met, we became friends, and we fell in love. Now, four years later, we're married and starting our lives together.

I feel that this is how the majority of relationships of all types come to be. The second stereotype I want to address is that "whites in interracial relationships are rebelling." Are there white people who bring home a person of another race because they know it will drive their parents crazy? I’m sure... But it’s highly unlikely that these people would maintain a relationship with someone just to spite their parents, let alone go far enough as to get married.

People making your relationship a bigger deal than it is

We are just two people in a relationship like everyone else. We did not get together to stand up for civil rights and "stick it to the man." We did not get together to make a statement or end racism. We got together because we liked each other. Simple as that.

Malcolm X said, “I believe in recognizing every human being as a human being - neither white, black, brown, or red; and when you are dealing with humanity as a family there's no question of integration or intermarriage. It's just one human being marrying another human being or one human being living around and with another human being.”

And that folks, is the heart of it all.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me

33501
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Cool Gadgets To Make Your Car Smart

Don't let this stop you from making your car smart. You can change the one you have using smart gadgets that transform your car into a smart car.

98071

Cars are no longer just a mode of transport, where you only worry about the engine and how beautiful its interior is. These days, everyone wants to make their cars smarter, those with advanced technology systems. It makes sense for several reasons. It can make your vehicle more efficient and safer when you need to drive.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Inevitable Truth of Loss

You're going to be okay.

122051

As we humans face loss and grief on a daily basis, it's challenging to see the good in all the change. Here's a better perspective on how we can deal with this inevitable feeling and why it could help us grow.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'Venom: Let There Be Carnage' Film Review

Tom Hardy and Woody Harrelson lead a tigher, more fun sequel to 2018's 'Venom'

101569
Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Entertainment – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FmWuCgJmxo

When Sony announced that Venom would be getting a stand-alone movie, outside of the Tom Holland MCU Spider-Man films, and intended to start its own separate shared universe of films, the reactions were generally not that kind. Even if Tom Hardy was going to take on the role, why would you take Venom, so intrinsically connected to Spider-Man's comic book roots, and remove all of that for cheap action spectacle?

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'The Addams Family 2' Film Review

The sequel to the 2019 reboot is an enjoyable, but unremarkable start to the Halloween movie season

64154
Photo Credit: MGM – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kd82bSBDE84

There's a reason why the Addams Family have become icons of the American cartoon pantheon (although having one of the catchiest theme songs in television history doesn't hinder them).

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments