As I finish up my sophomore year of college, I can’t help but reflect on yet another year of classes, parties, and memories. I have a theory that each year of college is different and acts as a specific learning experience. With each school year, you are faced with new challenges that make you grow as a person. And this year, my biggest challenge was dealing with friendships.
Before coming to college, I was never really the kind of person that had a solid “friend group.” I had a few close friends, but I didn’t have that set group that you would always see in the movies. Having a group of friends that I did everything with was always my ultimate goal. Other people seemed to have their “group”, so why couldn’t I have my own too?
In terms of my college career, I decided to go to a school that was completely out of my comfort zone both figuratively and literally. My home is about 12 hours away from my college, and I only know one other person that goes to my university that’s from my hometown. I thought by forcing myself into a new environment for college, I was bound to meet “those” people that would complete my desire for a friend group. And believe it or not I did find my group.
Here’s the catch. Finding that perfect friend group is SO overrated. After actually being in a small friend group, I realized just how restricting it could be. I found that I was shutting myself off to other friendship possibilities just so I could continue being friends with my so-called “group”. And as time progressed, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I felt obligated in a way to keep hanging out with my group because it was easier than forming new friendships with other people.
In the moment, having a set group of friends seems like the best thing in the world. You always have someone to turn to when you’re lonely and you don’t have to worry about not fitting in anymore. But we shouldn’t be constricting ourselves to the same people out of fear that we can’t be friends with others. We shouldn’t surround ourselves with people that live with the "no new friends" attitude because they already have a solid friend group established. And we shouldn’t settle for friendships that we know, deep down, aren’t true.
This past school year, I've learned that you don’t need a group of friends to be happy. College is the time of self-discovery and growth, not the time to stop trying to meet people and experience new things because you're comfortable with a small group. There are thousands of people out there on every campus that are potential new friends. And the last thing that you need during this incredible time is the weight of a friend group dragging you down.
