One month after graduating college. I thought I was already an adult.

Update: I was wrong

The first week of my post-grad life was pretty relaxing. I packed up my apartment and tried to enjoy the last moments with the friends that I now call family. I watched lots of television, ate lots of food and soaked up the bliss of not having any homework or exams to worry about. Once I woke up from that dream I realized I didn't have any money, a credit card, an adult job or even a car. I was immediately stressed out again.

I always liked to see myself as an independent person, but with all of these drawbacks, it seemed as if I was relying on people much more than usual. For the first summer of my entire life, I wasn't living at home. That meant on top of my new part-time coaching job, I had to find another source of income. Luckily my new roommate works at a restaurant and they hired me on the spot. As for the money/credit card ordeal, I would have to earn it on my own rather than getting the usual student loan refund checks.

The first two weeks of living away from home, I ate three square meals a day because food was not in my budget. I got denied for a credit card from my bank because my student loans were too high. The teller suggested I pay off half of them and then I would get approved. Ha! $20,000 was definitely not going to be handed over that easily. If I had that, I would have bought myself a car. Which brings me to my next issue, the biggest of them all. My whole life, my parents, family members, friends, and boyfriends had driven me around. I figured when I got an adult job, I would live in the city where I could take public transportation or walk everywhere. Well, here I am, living on Cape Cod still being chauffeured around by my roommate and boyfriend. My fingers are crossed that I get one soon.

In other words, post-grad life is sucking so far and I am on the slow road to transforming into a real adult. One that cannot rely on family to drive me to work, one that cannot get refund checks to pay for rent, and one has to apply to jobs daily in order to start a career. Oh, and I get the occasional pang of depression that I am no longer eligible to play the sport I love.

But throughout all of this constant complaining about how shitty my life is, I have realized one major thing, I am alive. While I need the typical slap in the face and reminder that I’m not living on the streets without help from anyone I have also learned that I am fortunate and humbled by the learning experiences I go through every day. I graduated college—that is the first real step into adulthood. I live somewhat on my own. I have a couple of side jobs while I continue to search for “the one.” And most importantly, I have people that truly care about me. This I know because of the amount I have depended on them throughout my life.

So yes, while post-grad life has its low moments, I must remind myself that I am alive and I am loved.