“You have 60 new closets!"
"You always have someone to eat with!"
“Having a couch after living in the dorms is, like, the best thing ever!”
These details about living in the sorority house were repeated to me like a broken record during rush, to the point where I thought all the girls in every sorority had gotten together to concoct their exact response to the question “So, do you love living in?”I wondered whether this rehearsed message meant they were lying through their teeth and that living in the house was really this G-d awful experience, or that maybe it was impossible to convey what it was really like to live in, so they condensed it to three fun facts.
On the other side of rush, after living in the house for only a few weeks, I found myself spitting back the same answers that were fed to me. I wasn’t lying to the recruits, because all of those things were and are still true, but after living in the house for a semester, I have found that having 60 closets does not come even close to encompassing the experience of living in.
What they don't tell you about living in a sorority house, what they don't even know yet because they are still in the honeymoon phase, is that living in a sorority house means you will never be alone. For the super extroverts, this might feel like a dream come true, but for those who love, appreciate, and actually need time alone, this lack of “me time” is overwhelming, and a significant adjustment.
Further, as much as we love and have strong pride in our gender, living with 70 girls means there is constant drama. Drama that you can make a conscious effort to stay out of, but that is just as easy to get sucked right into. Whether it's rumors of roommates not getting along or shady date party dates or prospective pre-game partners, petty issues are quickly exacerbated in a house full of girls.
Yet, the overwhelming-ness and pettiness do not fully encompass the sorority house experience either. Another unexpected element of this living situation is that you will find that people who you had ruled out or had pinned for a certain type will undoubtedly surprise you. People you would never envision yourself being friends with will become your closest. You will develop a deeper understanding of a variety of backgrounds and learn that, contrary to your initial belief, everyone from New York is NOT the same.
You will be astonished by the intellect of the girl who dances on the highest elevated surfaces and the eating habits of the tiny girl. You will discover that brushing your teeth next to someone gives you far more insight into who they really are than seeing them in the library or a frat house. You will have deep conversations about life and death and religion and ethics, and be forced to evaluate your beliefs in a way you have never had to before. You will be surrounded by so many unique personalities, identities and passions as you struggle to develop your own, and find your place among them.
You will learn stories of parents' divorces and brothers’ undiagnosed bipolar disorders. Painful stories. Enlightening stories. Stories that have made these girls into who they are. And the strangest/coolest part is that you will often come across someone’s story on accident. It might come up in casual conversation while walking back to the house from class or while splitting a bagel at three a.m. All of a sudden, you will see this person and your life from a very different perspective.
Yes, living in a sorority means that you will have access to an American Apparel skater dress in every color, a bunch of new friends to eat lunch with and a great big couch to lounge on after a long day, but those elements hardly graze the surface of the experience of living in.
As overwhelming as the constant stimulation is at times, and as ridiculous or silly the drama might get, the good stuff -- the real stuff -- will remind you on a daily basis why you chose to join your sorority.
You will learn, grow and laugh more than you ever thought was possible, and you will be changed for the better.
