The Truth About Growing Up With Divorced Parents

The Truth About Growing Up With Divorced Parents

Is this what I have to look forward to?
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Nowadays, many kids experience the reality of having a broken family. Divorce is now more common than it ever has been before. And depending on what age you were when you went through this, it can affect you differently. Not just with how children cope with the fact of having divorced parents, but also it shapes the way we go through our own relationships later in life. Despite divorce being common in most families, there are still many families out there that are blessed with having normal relationships with their families per say. That doesn't go to say that each family doesn't go through their own issues, but it's much better than living in two places at once. For those that don't have divorced parents, this may be a good chance to learn and understand better for those that do.

I was very young when my parents got divorced. So young many would probably question whether it truly had much impact on my life, but trust me, it does. I was about two or three years old when my parents broke it off and that was the easy part. Growing up was easy enough for a kid whose parents weren't together anymore. All the decisions were made for me. I didn't have to worry about anything regarding my parents or who I stayed with the majority of the time because that choice was already made for me, which made it easy to deal with. It wasn't until I was about thirteen or fourteen when these decisions were passed onto me that I started to feel the impact of the divorce.

It's hard trying to decide who you want to stay with, who you would rather spend more time with. You feel as though you are stepping on egg shells most of the time. As you get older you realize that you don't have a home, you have homes. You spend every other weekend at your dad's/mom's, not counting the visits where you stay for weeks at a time during holidays and the summer. You are on a constant move, it feels like, from one house to the other. You didn't notice it before, but it definitely starts to take a toll now. You feel as though you live out of a suitcase now that you're older. You realize that the responsibility of this divorce doesn't just fall on your parent's shoulders, but yours as well. And with them being divorced while I was so young was almost bittersweet. The pain didn't hit me until years later when I had to break my own parent's hearts when I couldn't decide who to live with.

But it doesn't just affect the emotions you have between your parents, it also triggers the fear of getting into relationships. All you see now in today's society is divorce, or lack of relationships, and people waiting longer to get into relationships. You fear these things because you wonder if this is how it's going to be in the end of every relationship. Is this what I have to look forward to?

You see your friends go through the same things as well with their parents. Some people's parents get divorced later in life, which affects them immediately. It almost always causes resentment. I've seen it. I've seen it happen to all my friends and my coworkers. It creates a mistrust between your family, almost as if to say "What went wrong?" And then you question whether you had something to do with it. Blaming yourself is just as common with divorce that equally affects relationships later in life. A part of you gets taken away, a chance to have a whole family. It hurts, not that it's anyone's fault. It happens sometimes. People fall out of love, but that doesn't mean that the pain is only limited to the parents.


The truth about growing up with divorced parents is that the pain never ends. You learn and grow from it. You gain experience throughout the pain and you learn more about your parents than you ever thought you would have before. The main thing to realize is that we have seen love fail and it is important for people that have never experienced that to know that. We have seen it fail up close and to the ones we care the most about. That doesn't mean that love won't conquer again, but it sets a fear deep inside that we will end up the same way. It's also important to know that none of this could have been avoided. It happens and continues to happen everyday. The best truth to realize is that you should not be defined by the weight of the pain you carry from divorced parents. It hurts, but one thing that people from divorced families will always do, is persevere.

Cover Image Credit: PetaPixel

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

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I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

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Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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To The Dad Who Works Out Of Town, Thank You For All You Do

Thank you for everything you do, I wouldn't have the things I do if it wasn't for you.

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I want to say Thank you. Thank you for sleeping in hotel beds every night. Thank you for eating sandwiches some days for lunch while I ate my pizza Lunchables in my brand new Hello Kitty lunchbox.

Thank you for taking your truck with no cruise control some weeks for work because I wanted to drive your car. I'm sure driving for four hours straight with your foot on the pedal was pretty boring. Thank you for filling up the car before you let me drive it as well.

Thank you for waking up at 3 and 4 a.m. to head out of town to work and being so quiet while doing so. Thank you for adding lunch money to my account while you're over 100 miles away. Thank you for working sometimes 10-14 days straight without a day off. I can never thank you enough for what you do.

Thank you for filling my truck up in high school every Sunday night before you left for work. Thank you for spending your lunch breaks calling and making orthodontist appointments for me. Thank you for taking days off work to take me to some of these appointments. Thank you for always fitting me in.

While being out of town can make you feel like an absent parent, I promise you are not that. You always make sure to call me during the week. If I'm sick and didn't go to class, you call and check on me. You even call and remind me of things I need to get done like returning my rental book.

If it wasn't for you working out of town, I wouldn't have the luxuries I do now. I want you to know I am thankful for you.

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